My Blog has shifted

Its been 2.5 years since I started this blog. This blog has grown to such a stage that its taking a long time to load thus I have extend it to this site. You can access the new blog here.

There will no longer be any update on this blog starting 07th Feb 2008. Here is wishing everyone a Happy and Prosperous New Year !

Take care and God Bless.

Ready for $38,000 Investment 6th Feb 2008

Mum, 06th Feb 2008 is the first time in my life that I put in a large amount of money into a highly lucrative investment in an online gaming portal. Thanks to Sanny and Brother Larry who shared this little gem.I gathered a few good friends of mine for many years to pull in the $38K capital investment. I personally invested $21,000. The first payout of ROI will be 9th Feb 2008. I will post an update of investment this saturday.

EDIT - Check out my casino investment returns here >>> Casino Weekly Payout

Cycling at Pulau Ubin !

Today, my "Singles Delight"club members organised an Ubin Cycling Trip. It was drizzling when I reached Changi Ferry Terminal. It's been years since I went to Ubin. The last 2 which I organised was for my M1 friends and Compaq Colleagues. The turnout was quite good. Fortunately or unfortunately, the rain poured but it was fun. Always feel good to be able to feel like a kid again ! We visited Chek Jawa Wetlands. You should really visit the place, its beautiful ! I love it probably the weather was cooling and can feel the rain splashing on to your face while at the visitor stand ! Its awesome feeling !

Mum, I visited you at the temple today !

Mum, new year is just round the corner. This morning, I visited you with Jordan, Aidan and their mother. You passed away when Jordan were 4 yrs old. He is 7 yrs old now and is the first time that he visited you. He misses you tons and even commented on your "new house" :) I later brought them to the amusement park at Bishan. Like previous years, I will visit you on the first day of Chinese New Year which falls on 7th Feb. This evening, we had our early reunion dinner at Auntie's place with Granny, Uncle, Tina, Wei Ming and her beautiful baby Eleanor ! I will be entering into a very high capital investment business with a few friends. I will update you more next week. Love and misses you mum !

Happy Birthday Best Friend | Buddy | Colleague Jennifer

Today is my buddy, best friend, colleague's Jennifer's birthday ! The staff celebrated for her in the office and I took the opportunity to take some videos and pictures of this beautiful colleague of mine. Here goes...

I rejected my ex boss job offer !

I rejected the job offer ! I surprised myself too...If I were much younger, I wouldnt hesitate to throw in the letter for a 20% increment,, travelling opportunities, global company, supervisory role..I guess I am just quite contented with where I am now. Moreoever HP is also offering me a permanent contract with opportunities to relocate to another country, hopefully Canada.

When I lay on my bed typing this post, I realised how much I mellowed down all these years..How much I enjoyed coming home, on my bed with my favourite book, listening to class 95 and surfing the internet on my crystal white macbook and a quick massage..Mid life Contentment instead of Crisis ?

Well, this is my "Zen" way of living now. To enrich my daily life, to be aware of whatever I am doing at "that moment". Zen promotes a very different way of understanding and dealing with reality. It's an interesting self discovery process on my part and I hope you can discover it yourself.

January is going to be over in a few day's time and I have yet to see any results in my CPA business but everytime when I bump onto Rani when we go out for lunch, I always remind myself that she is my goal accountant. If I dont achieve my my goals by end of this year, I would have to pay the penalty !! :) so better buck up !

Should I take up the new job offer ?

All my working life, I have been blessed to work with many nice colleagues and bosses. My past few years jobs has been referred and recommended by them. Cassandra who was my ex M1 Manager recommended me into NETS to be a trainer.

Rani who was my colleague and best friend recommended me back into HP where I am currently working. Candice who was my ex M1 Team Manager when I was her Team Lead called me last week and asked me if I want to help her manage a newly setup regional call centre which next month I would have to go HK and India to understand their operation.


In life, there's always a situation that you have to make a decision. I used to manage a team during those days in Compaq and Jennifer is one of my team member. I guess its also fate that we are back working together again. She is one of the best, funny, cute, beautiful colleague and buddy that I get the honour of working with. We just clicked when it comes to managing the service desk in HP, I guess its the working style that we have gotten used to each other all the years in Compaq . If salary, travelling opportunities are out of the equation and there's any reason why I din take up the offer, she is one of the reason why I am staying back to help her manage her desk.

Weighing the benefits of both companies, my ex boss definitely is offering a very attractive package which is 20% higher than my current salary.. but I would have to give up wearing cargo pants and sweat shirt to work! Arrgh....

I wonder if HP would be willing to match that 20%...:8

So...I have to inform my ex boss soonest soonest if I would be taking the job...:)

Thank You Facebook ! I was finally found ! :)

How many times in your life do you get to know that your friend is looking for you all these years? Quite recently, a long lost friend of mine found me through Facebook..What a pleasant surprise...Her name is Grace. We used to work in a team managing a contact centre when we were in the Navy. Her gesture touches me a lot. It goes to show how much she valued that friendship that we had during our times in the Navy. I managed to dig out some old photos of us but as a respect, I will post it here when she deem its fit to do so. :0 Here's my navy life pictures...:) Enjoy..

~Post Edited ~ Pictures of Grace n myself uploaded with Grace's blessings :)

Does your dad behaves this way ?

I never had a good relationship with my dad all these years..and I never really understood him on a personal level..or should i say I never wanted to really understand him... Right after mum passed on, he shifted in to stay with me because we sold our old place..Living with him for the past 2 years was really an "eye opener" for me. I dont mean to bring down my own father but it's shocking to know that he doesnt know the very basic of boiling water, washing clothes, even switching on the television. Mum, you really really really took so good care of him. Every weekend I had to control my temper because I will see the same old things that he does over and over again. Today..oooh..he did it again..as a healthy retiree who refuses to work, he goes out everyday and he literally has to wash his clothes 3 times a week !! Shocking ? Let me break it down for you why he wears 35 pieces of clothes a week.

Daily

Shirt and Pants -

Briefs -

Extra Shirt that he uses it as a mat to sleep on at night. ( even when there's a blanket available )

Night Pant

That's 35 pieces of clothings a week !! and you know what ? he uses the soiled clothes as a daily floor mat and dump it into a plastic bag instead of a net bag that I bought for him. Imagine the wet and soiled clothes being kept in the bag for 2 days before being brought out to wash..Gosh !! his whole room stinks like hell and every weekend, I had to light up my belair oil to remove the smell from his whole room.

Every night when I am home, he is hiding in his room, every morning before i go to work, he is out of the house. We dont see each other now, neither do we talk. Its better this way if not I will quarrel with him again...

He squandered 10K plus of mum's money few months after mum passed on

His monthly expenses is $600 ( his own money )

He refuses to work

It's just overwhelming to list down the things that he doesnt know how to operate...I am just too tired to write about it.

Am I unfilial ? I dunno but to write it here is just an outlet to vent my frustration.

Sometimes certain people just baffles me...

Today I received an email from a customer that I send reports to every month. The way he crafts his email gives people a very unfriendly tone. Many of us gets the feelings of him always trying to put us down despite the fact that most of us are doing our very best to fulfil and comply with their requirements.

His email to me edited to certain extent.

Melvin,

Tks for the update and report and I would like to remind you that the report must serve its purpose, i.e. the stats must be factual, accurate and validated before you publish it into the repository for ref. (in this context, pls. ensure that someone validate the stats before you submit it to us) Pls. refer to the XXXX document , I found the duration is incorrectly marked. It should be from XXX to XXXX and the service outage downtime recorded is XX mins. (This is what XXXX had reported to XXXX ) I believe XXXX has used your stats and report it accordingly in Dec's report to XXXX

Can you pls. work with XXXX (XXXX to assist) and amend the record accordingly? Pls. also note that you should not continue to copy such mail to XXXX and XXXX, both of them are no longer with XXXX.

Best regards
XXXX XXX X X

My reply to him : -

Good morning XXXX,

Thank you for sharing.

XXXX keeps a spreadsheet on all XX XX incidents that happened. I tried to ensure that every XXXX that happened and recorded in the XX XX spreadsheet is checked, updated and tally against hers to ensure the information is correct before sending out. . For the duration time, I took it from XXXX XXXX confirmed and resolved time. Please see below the incident rectified message that was being send out. The time confirmed and resolved time is from XXXX to XXXX thus it was recorded as such in the spreadsheet.

Hi XXXX,
Kindly advise if I should take XXXX confirmed and resolved time for future reporting and if this record should be amended to XXXX reported time.

Thanks
Melvin Tan

P.S - I am not complaining because in a job environment, you have to work with different people from different company. Its not easy to accomodate every person working style but if you make an effort to emphathise, understand the other other party working style, I am sure things gets done more efficiently...rather than asserting your authority with such unfriendly email tone..

Do you have such experience with your customers ? Share your comments here...

Jogging in the night...

Phew...just back from jogging...been terribly busy with work and keeping up with my dateline to achieve my goals that I laid down on 8th Nov 2007. Been feeling tired and experiencing bad back pain so I decided to go for a jog earlier on. I am still on track to launch 5 mini campaigns on a weekly basis and to hit one winner. Already launched 2 campaigns and awaiting test results..

Our Local Comedian MC King Sudden Death

It came as a shock when I read the news, though I am not a fan of his but his sudden death shocked many. Clearly healthy at 40 years old with no drinking and smoking bad habits, many were surprised. Read his blog post on New Year Eve's which I pasted below. Does he have a sudden feeling that he is leaving this place ? You tell me...

December 31
HAPPY NEW YEAR

Melvin >> News like this upsets me a lot, could it have been prevented in the first place ? I am reaching 40 in 2 years time. ...though I am very much a positive person now but when things like this happens, you tend to step back and reflect...have I done enough ?

Living life to the fullest ? Tellling your loved ones you love them ?Spending quality time with your family and friends ? Keeping myself fit and healthy ?
Loving yourself ?

The hard truth is, its never enough but you just have to be consciously doing that..when you are hit with situation like MC King, you will leave with no regrets..!

My penny thoughts..What about you ?

3rd Day 2008 - Fearful | Exciting

Its the 3rd day of the new year already. I like to take a step back and see what I have achieved for the past 1 year. I din have a lot to shout about but overall, I have been a happier person. I owed it to friends who has been supportive, people like my buddy Rani whom our friendship has grown stronger...buddy like Labby who spend a good 9 months holiday stay at my home, bringing much laughter, happiness and also good home cooked food for me, Jennifer, colleague and best friend whom I am working with right now in the office. You have been a part of my life all these while, thank you. Now, back to my resolutions that I have made on 5th Nov. As I looked at my vision board every night and the big goals I have set for myself, I have that little voice at the back of my head telling me, this is going to be tough !! You cant make it ! Oh damn..that fearful feeling crept up so I am going to tell that "little voice" I am going to do it anyway...and I am going to achieve my goals..so stay tune as I fervently worked on my CPA Business !!

My Godson is off to Primary One !

Mum, look at your beloved adopted grandson. Today is his first day in primary school. You bought his first water bottle when he was going nursery. Time flies, he is 5 this year and still cute as ever. You would be very proud of him if you are still around. I took leave today to accompany him on his first day. Confident little kid, no whining at all and he din cry !! :) So like me when I was younger..hehe..Love and misses you Mum...

Bye Labby ! Come back soon....

Today is a happy day as well as a sad day for me. Happy because I am one of the brother for my friend CK's wedding. Sad is because my best friend and buddy Labby is going back to HK. She came on 1st April and with a blink of an eye, she already stayed 9 months. It has been a wonderful 9 months and I would like to thank her for bringing joy, fun and happiness into this home of mine. I learned how to cook, I indulged in food haunt which I usually dont, I enjoyed shopping in Giant at Tampines that we practically go every weekend..etc..etc..She has done much more for me as a friend and I would never forget that..Seeing her tearing her eyes in the departure gates really breaks my heart as I know how much she would like to work in Singapore and stay here. I told her to be patient and once my CPA marketing takes off, I will think of a way of "employing" her back. Till then, take care labby..You are missed by many of us who know you..* Rani, Jennifer, Fei Lou, Patricia..and many others..

Merry Xmas Eve ! and I lost my credit card :)

Merry Xmas to all my friends ! Xmas is a day of giving and you know what ? I lost my newly approved credit card. Was trying to recall where I misplaced it. ~ ta da.. now I remembered ! I lost it when I was depositing money in Tampines Mrt after buying 8 money jars for my new money saving concept shared by my mentor Larry. You can read this amazing simple concept here. So what's next ? Got to wait for a replacement card ! Things happens for a reason !

Failure to achieve My Goals must be painful !

Today, I met up with my mentor Larry and shared with him one of my goals for year 2008. Although I have publicly announced it on 5th Nov and some of my friends knows about it, I feel that I have not done enough or motivate enough to do more to achieve it. Speaking to Larry gave me a relevation. People do things for 2 reasons. Pain or Pleasure. Setting goals is easy but taking the steps to achieve it is painful. In order to make it even more painful for me to take "more and urgent" steps to achieve at least one of my goals, I have requested Larry and Rani to be one of my goals guarantor. I am requesting 3 more goals guarantor, if you are my blog reader and is keen, do leave me a comment. By the end of year 2008 if I do not achieve at least one of my goals, I will give each goals guarantor $100 which you are free to donate to charity or for your own pesonal purposes.

Do you track your PUB Bills ?

Eversince I moved in to Punggol, I make it a point to track all my utilities bills and after 6 years, its interesting to note how much you realise you spend in each area. The bulk of my bills are from the electricity side probably because I have a mini voip system at home and some computer stuff that needs to be kept on. Thanks to Larry who recommended me a energy saver device which moderated my energy consumption if not, I cant imagine how much the bills would have been.

Celebrating Xmas with Granny

Yesterday, I celebrated early Xmas with Granny. It's the first time I cooked ketchup prawns for relatives outside of my kitchen..except Betty of course. Hmm..they were impressed..hehe..Meaning I passed liao..Granny looks fine though she will gesture to me from time to time that "its time" for her to go already although I wonder if thats a sign from her but no matter what it means, I love her tons !

How to FIRE YOUR BOSS !

It's been a long time since I have written. Been busy with work and the coming festive season Xmas. I have been reading on a lot of affiliate marketing blogs to pick up tips and tricks. I visited Jeff Roth's blog recommended by Amit, author of Super Affiliate Mindset. Jeff's journey in Affiliate Marketing is very inspirational and one of the post is so hilarious, I promised you will laugh your heart out reading it. Enjoy !

4th Dec - 27 Days to Year 2008 ~

27 days to the Year 2008 !! Have you made your New Year resolutions? Years back, I have since stopped using the word resolutions' but rather the word GOAL. I have decided to do WHATEVER it takes to achieve my Goals. What's your GOAL ?

Cooking Lesson 2

Rushed home today from work to learn lesson 2. :0
2 x simple dishes. Pepper chicken with potato and tomato soup.

Taste pretty good.. I must say...hehe...So if you want to try my skills, I dun mind being invited to your place to "mess" up your kitchen.. :P

Cooking Lesson 1

Okay..so here it is...my first cooking lesson with my Shi Fu Betty! here is me cleaning up preparing the prawns for ketchup prawns later. Its really not easy to think about what to cook everyday ! If your mum is cooking everyday for you, give her a BIG HUG and say THANK YOU because its really not easy to whip dishes day in day out. Also thanks to Betty for sharing and teaching me!

Watch the sitting posture ~~

Went to SGH for physhiotherapy that lasted 1.5 hours. After consultation, I was given instructions to specifically do 2 neck exercises everyday to work on the neck. Thereafter I was given a mechanical braces to stretch my neckbone before going for a neck heat pack treatment. The bill came up to $32..as compared to $65 bucks at First Chiropractic for a 10 mins session. Was advise to be conscious of my sitting posture in the office so as not to aggravate the strain on my lower back. Hopefully to see improvement in 2 months time...

SGH Back Therapy and Weight Management Product

Tomorrow will be my first back therapy at SGH. Let's see how it goes...Still feeling the stinging and numbness on my fingers and back. Hopefully with this regulary therapy, it helps to relieve the pain. Weight Gainer product is always the last thing that I will ever buy or even try..But I am pleasantly surprised that I like the taste of Herbal Life Shapeworks mixed with orange juice. Its quite unlike weight gainer powder that I tried years back. I actually shared it with my colleague Jennifer. She is trying to control her weight whereas I am trying to gain weight, so this product that I bought couldnt have arrived at the better time. For her, its a replacement meal, for me, its an add on meal. Great ! Let's see the effect 3 months later !

FREE Outgoing Mobile Calls

Revolutionary technology that allows you to make FREE outgoing mobile calls. Thanks to my bro Larry for developing this. If you love to yak on the phone or your company only subsidise peanuts on your handphone bills, you will love this ! Let me know you want a live web demo on how this technology works ! Why pay M1 Starhub or Singtel when you can yak on your phone for FREE ?

My Return Of Investment from Canada Property !! 2nd Payment

On July 23th, I posted about my returns from my investments with Amanda. This month, its another bonus time, came in nicely to pay off some bills. Last sunday newspaper, there was a featured article about inflation in Singapore. Particularly interesting is a segment where they said that your money that you put in the bank tend to lose more in value as compared to putting your money to work in some investment vehicles due to inflation rate. How true !! So if you are reading this blog, make sure your money is working hard for you than putting it in the bank and gets eroded ! Good luck !

House Cleaning on a weekend ~

Finally....the eagerly waited weekend ~ Slept till 1pm today..Dunno why I was so tired..totally knocked out...Lab told me after I woke up that the computer monitor has gone bonkers...the screen is totally black...after a quick lunch, we went Sim Lim to see if there is a need to replace the monitor...thank god..its just the adaptor that is having the problem. So we got it replaced and went home to clean up the house...so here's the video that was taken....:)

Granny is pretty weak....:(

Mum, I visited granny today. According to the maid, granny is pretty weak. She used to have a loud voice but when I met her recently, her voice is hardly audible when she calls me but at least she remembers who I am. I am going to tell Ah Yi that I have plans to stay at the Jurong place so that I can visit granny often as she really misses having me around. Everytime I leave, she would ask me why I din stay for the night. I felt really bad. I would like to spend as much time as possible with her. I miss her alot and I misses you even more ! Love !

Happy Deepavali !

Happy Deepavali to all my Hindu Friends !! Today Lab and myself was invited to my best friend Rani's house to celebrate their new year. The food was spicy and good ! Hmm..I finished 1/4 of her tibits ! keke..

Thereafter I went to my ex colleague's wedding. She is just stunning. Make a guess...what is her nationality before she became PR ?

My Goals ~ 2008 ~

Today is 5th Nov 2007. Another one and a half month and its Year 2008. Its time to set my new year resolution. For the past 10 years, besides having a regular job, I also attempted several business ventures without any clear goals and vision in mind. Year 1998 - 2007 ( 3 hair salons till I sold off due to partners conflict ) ( Left Compaq to build my Bel'air network in Philippines ) ( Back to SG and back to work after I din do well in Philippines ) ( Invested in Canada Property rental with CK ) ( Exposed to Internet Marketing and CPA )

This year, I am holding myself accountable to achieve the goals I set for myself by publicly putting it onto my blog with pictures of my goals and my desired kitchen of my condo. :)

So Melvin...Go for it...Procastination is the KISS of Death..So JUST DO IT !!

May Success be with all my friends and May you be blessed with Abundance !!

Hong Kong >> Singapore ~

Next morning, we finally went down to Hong Kong. We have our final shopping spree before taking our flight back home. Like the HK drama serials where the police sometimes raid the motel joints, we decided to give the motels a night stay instead go up to Shenzhen again and see how it was like..its pretty much like our hotel81 here in Singapore but its very very cramp, imagine I had to sleep diagonally as my body couldnt fit into the sleeping area :) Visited "Ap Liu Street" " Mong Kok" nearly bought the original pirated" iPhone" Made in China ! :P I also visited Lab's dog. Her name is Amy. Playful, cute and fun ! I also bought 8 pieces of cotten sweat shirts at $$30. Its a steal ! Lab also helped me shop for a non stick induction cooker pan that is half the price if I were to buy it in SG. $17 bucks!

So my budget tour experimentation damage as follows :
Airticket $250
Food+Transportation+Lodging+Massage = $238
Shopping = $140

$628 for 5 days Macau+Zhuhai+GuangZhou+
Shenzhen+HK

Off to Shen Zhen for Food Haunt and Massage !

The 3rd day after visited the Guang Zhou exhibition and a Wholesale Plaza, we took a train to Shen Zhen ! Arrived there at 8pm, went to the same restaurant I went to last year Xmas and this time, we had " Ta Bin Lo" meaning steamboat. $20SG !! About 10pm, we head straight to the massage parlour where we had a solid 4 hours massage including " Ba Guan" Guess how much is it ? $30 !!! and we got to stay FREE at the parlour. Budget Budget Budget ! :P

Guang Zhou ! Here we come !

After arriving at Macau and done snapping pictures of Venetian, we took a free coach to the custom to Zhuhai hotel that night. Next morning, we took a 2 hr bus to "Guang Zhou" to attend their International Import and Export Fair where you get to see thousand and one items that are on wholesales there. Got a lot of good contacts for home furnishing ! The place was massive and took us one whole day to really skimp through all the wholesalers there. Nice food haunt introduced by Lab. Check the pictures and videos ! Due to the fair,the hotel that we stayed was a bit off budget!

Lab brought me to this place to try their food and its just so delicious that I cant help asking Lab to video this. The food is just damn good ! >> Jennifer, this is for you and Jon..haha.. A pity you cant join us !

Macau Newest Casino - Venetian

Look at the blue skies ! They are fake ! but looks so real ! Pay $25 Bucks for a boat ride and you have a spanish guy singing love songs to you..hehe. The last video is dedicated to a good friend Jennifer cos I promised her that I will buy her " Siew Orh Bei " but due to lack of time, I din manage to buy back for her. So I only can video this for her. We had buffet dinner in the Venetian Hotel, around S$40/person, not bad.

A Birthday Budget Tour Experiment !

Mum, this year my birthday, I decided to go on a budget tour experiement with Lab. We went to Macau newest Casino Venetian, Zhu Hai, Shen Zhen, Hong Kong and Guang Zhou.

- Snap our airplane while waiting at the boarding area.
- Self picture taken while waiting for take off...

- Yeah..off we go to Macau !

So here we are at Macau ! Check out the next post for the grand hotel cum casino pictures and videos..

Happy Birthday Mum !~

261007 - Mum, Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday to my Dearest mum, Happy Birthday to You....Do you like the flowers ? This year..I decided to buy sunflowers instead of roses. Tomorrow I will be leaving for China. Give me your blessings and look over my shoulders ! Love You Mum !

Joyce | Jerryc | Jorryn | Melvin | Rani - The Five Musketeers !

241007 - Mum, I would like to introduce a very good buddy tonight. Her name is Joyce San Miguel. Both of us joined Compaq Computers on the same day in year 2000. Since then, we have become the best of buddies together with another wonderful buddy Rani. 3 of us handled customer complaint and those were the days that we stick together to pull through those difficult times. We partied and we really partied during those days :)
I missed those days when we went Thailand for a short holiday !! After the HP Compaq merger, we went our own ways and she also found a wonderful hubby where she shifted to Netherlands. For 2 years, we did not get to meet and this time round when she followed her hubby to SG for work related matters, we make sure we get to catch each other with Rani and also to see her 2 super super cute babies. I just came back after meeting up with her and babysitting them and mind you, I secretly secretly wish I could just babynapped Jerryc and Jorryn back home. They are just soooooooooooooooooo cute !! especially Jorryn !!!

Fear of Loss OR Desire for Gain ??

Hi Mum,

Do you know that I have a list of subscribers who subscribed to my newsletter on my Attract Your Dreams Blog ? Something happened to that blog and now its inaccessible but I am going to start learning a new platform for content management. So watch out for it :) Below is an email that I send to them through my autoresponder! Wonderful supporters for my blog.

On 22/10/2007, Tan Melvin wrote:
Hi Friends,

I have a relevation 2 days back and thought it would be good to share with you.It may seem a huge loss but to me I take it as something for me to think about.

I celebrated my 38th birthday on 20th Oct which is 2 days back. Its a happy ocassion as I also celebrated my best friend wedding.

But its also the day that I lost my whole blog Attact Your Dreams. You will see error when you go to the site now.

What really happened?

This is the second time that I lost my blog. First time happened 6 months back because i did not backup and there was some corruptions in my server settings. This time round i did backup while i try a new plugin file and I could not restore the backup after that!

What was painful was the hours spend in putting in contents, and the valuable comments left behind by the various readers.

Was i upset ? Well yes and no.

I believed that things happened for a reason !

You see..months back, I have been thinking of moving from wordpress to Joomla but i was hesitant to take the first step and I was already very very familiar with wordpress and moving on to Joomla means I have to start all over again.

Its always 2 things that move a person to do the hardest things.. Fear of loss or Desire for gain..

I am glad for this loss becos now I have no choice but to learn joomla..

So always look back in your life..when things happened, its always telling us something..something that we are suppose to do but did not, the universe is always showing signs...be more aware..u will be surprised..

Cheers and God Bless
Melvin Tan

Blk 174B Edgedale Plains
Singapore 822174

To unsubscribe or change subscriber options visit:
http://www.aweber.com/z/r/?LExsbCxstMxsrKxM7Cyc

Birthday Celebration Continues~

Mum, today I visited Granny. Been a long time since I last seen her. Misses her terribly. Brought her my birthday cake ! She loves it. After the visit, my best friend Lab treated me to Japanese Buffet at Suntec city. I took some pictures of Granny and posted here but somehow it went missing. So that leaves on the video below. :)

Happy 38th Birthday Melvin !~

Happy 38th Birthday ~ Well Mum, its my birthday. Time flies isnt it...hard to swallow that I am 38 now...:) Today happened to be also one of my buddies Larry's wedding and I was requested to be his band of brother. I agreed to it because its a happy occasion to be remembered for both of us. So early in the morning 630am on this special day, I reached his place and from then on, its busy busy busy...from singing in the park to the bride, shower cap, wasabi, chili ice cream, hanging a swinging banana in front of yr err..the brothers has tried ways and means to break into the bride's residence door. The couples were driven to various places for prayers, tea ceremony and by then it was evening time. we helped out with the reception and various tasked "assigned" by the bridegroom. It was a heartwarming experience everytime I was asked to be someone's band of brother. Hmm...so..when is my turn ? End of the year maybe...errr..which year ? My good friend Lab bought me a birthday cake when I came home in the evening after the wedding dinner !! Nice !! I also received several wishes and blessings from best friends and relatives.

Thought Provoking Funeral

Mum, one of my blog reader left this comment after I wrote about Law of Attraction equals Prayers. I visited his blog and saw an interesting post on Thought Provoking Funeral.

I post a snippets of his interesting post here..

"Yesterday, I drove up to Tonopah Nevada, which is about 3 hours north of Las Vegas, for a funeral. I have only been to one other funeral in my life, and I find them an interesting ritual. When I die, I would like to have a giant party celebrating my life, with music, drinks, great food and LOTS of laughter. This funeral made me think about what I would like to leave as my “legacy.” The thing I’d like to remember most is how I helped people, and my heart. When I think about my mortality, it reminds me to love a little deeper, be more patient, try a few more adventures. I think one trap that many of us fall into is not taking into account our mortality. If we all thought we might die in the next six months, we would behave differently. I want to believe I would be more conscious of our connection to each other. I’d risk feeling stupid, or risk failure to achieve a goal. I’d love my friends and family and appreciate each and every one of them.

If you have five minutes today, think about how your life will be remembered if you died in the next six months. Are you proud of your life? What you’ve done to help others? The relationships you’ve formed? We’re not here forever folks, so live fully, live now!"

Mum, this post resonates so much when I read it...its so you..its as if this reader is writing about you....You left your good name and I am so proud of you Mum...You lived a short life but you left a huge legacy...I love you Mum !

Another surprise from a Doctor Diagnosis on my back !

151007 ( 1030am ) - Mum, after 2 months of treatment and the hefty chiropractic bills, I decided to seek a second opinion for my backpain. I was referred to SGH after a 2 months wait. After looking at my previous xray and some diagnosis, the orthopedic "suggested" that I "may" have autoimmune disease. He can only confirm after the blood test. So off I went for a "Gene Type" blood test to determine if its my immune system that is causing all these pains and numbness. So the result will be out 01th Nov 07 1140am, thats when I am back from China. Lets pray for the best !

Melvin Tan and Jordan Ang

Mum, see the two pictures ? The first picture is me. Second picture is Jordan. Your adopted god grandson graduated from his K class. You were so anxious on his first day in school...he has since graduated and next year he will be going to primary 1. Time flies..he still asked about you. He is luvable ! Next week, I will post some pictures of my friend's sons that I took pictures with during the weekend ( Housewarming and Birthday Parties )

Mum, My Birthday and Your Birthday

141007 ( 0141am )

Mum, 6 more days and it will be my birthday ( 201007 ), another 6 more days after mine, it will be yours ( 261007 ). I remembered last year, around this time I was writing this article and submitting it to Today's papers to dedicate it to you on your birthday. Time flies, that article is 1 year old now. It's 2 years now that you have left me. I started this blog to remember you by but you realised that as time pass, I have written snipplets of my life here to share with you. My crying and yearning stops when I moved beyond pain. Someone once shared this, "For those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart don't know how to laugh either" I have wept 2 years with my whole heart and it is healing gradually. I give thanks to many things in my life right now. I have written 2 goals to fulfil. One is to start a trust fund under your name and to adopt an orphanage in Chiang Mai. Truthfully, there are so many things that is mind boggling in Internet Marketing that I am grasping to understand. I have great faith that with persistency and consistent effort and a personal mentor, I will be able to achieve my goals and dreams sooner than 2008. I prayed that I will be able to meet one personal mentor soon. With you watching over my back, I am sure I can make it. I love and misses you tons mum !

Day 4 UYMG ( Kuala Lumpur )

011007 - Mentor in Motion - Stephen Pierce

Stephen quoted this and I find it hard not to list it here.

We can't prepare the road for you | We can prepare you for the road

We cant work for you | We can work with you

Its so true that a lot of us expect other people to give us the blueprint for success but few realised that the blueprint is within us. Our mentors can only guide and give us the tools..ultimately, we have to take ACTION to realise our dreams.

Yesterday is a Cancelled Cheque
Tomorrow is a Promissory Notes
Today is Cash on Hand.

Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday | Saturday | Sunday | Monday | Tuesday | Wednesday | Thursday | Friday

** SOMEDAY will never come !!!!! ** So let's start with TODAY !! - Let TODAY be the brokest day of the rest of my life and design the lifestyle that we truly desires.

The next speaker * which I did not get her name *
shared on Success Navigation System

Navigation
- Where are you now ?
- Where do you want to go ?
- How do you get there? ( Map )

Vision
- Without a vision people perish
- Big enough WHY will get you out of bed
- Clear purpose...empower your brain by Clarity and you will figure out the How
- See BEYOND reality...."I have a DREAM"
- Vision Board
- The Law of Attraction
- Identity Beliefs
- I am a Firewalker

Focus
- Be Solution not Problem Orientated
- Bso ( Bright Shiny Objects )
- Dont listen to Dream Stealers
- Believe in yourself

The Journey - Sensory Acuity
- Be Response-able

- The meaning of Communication is the response you get so if you dont like the result,
change your approach

- Notice the results you are getting...if its not working, change it

- You cant talk your way out of something you behaved your way into

- Dont wait until theres a real crisis before you implement change..

Develop Flexibility
- Flexibility is power
- Expanding your Beliefs creates new possibilities

The Power of Team Work
Identify someone who is willing to help you !
- Satyajit ( Initial Business Kickstart Mentor )
- XXXX ( Adwords Mentor )
- XXXX ( Business Continuity Mentor )

Be Excellent
- The Ultimate Failure is not to try anything at all. No such thing as Failure...only Outcomes.

Keys to Stretching Yourself
- Do something that seems beyond your present ability
- Make public declarations
- Get a peer group
- Be accountable

Take Action !!!!
- The Secret : Intention with discipline creates miraculous RESULTS
- You dont have to see the whole picture
- Start with the end in mind.
- Build momentum and repeat often
- Never Give up
- Procastination is the KISS OF DEATH.

Learning Process
What did I learn this week ?
How can I use it ?
What must I learn next week in order to reach my maximum potential ?
What can I do right now in order to close the GAP ?

5 Figure List - 5 Figure Income

Jaz Lai - An ex fashion designer now a very successful internet marketer shared how to
build a 5 figure list earning a five figure income.

5 Main Strategies
Pay Per Click - Google Adwords
$7 Dollar Script - Popularised by Jonathan Ledger
Co Registration
Get A co- registration broker
www.getsubscribers.com
www.topica.com
Title
Description
URL
Refer A Friend Script - Viral Friend Generator
eBay Auctions
- Create a small report ( ebook ) 5 reports
- Sell them at 0.10
- Send them to your own download page with 2 bonuses if they opt in
- If they opt in, download report and 2 bonus
- if they dont opt in, send them to pre-download page with 3 bonuses
- if they opt in , send them to download page + 3 bonuses
- if they dont opt in, send them to original report download page

Below is a list of Traffic Sources recommended by Jaz Lai

Time flies, by the time I finished update this blog, its already 8pm. Its an awesome 4 days event. Its my first time in UYMG and I must say that this is one of the best internet marketing seminar that I have attended.

Stephen Pierce and his team of people are simple an AWESOME bunch of people, if not for my trip to Genting, I would have been part of the Alpha Leaders. The next event, I will make sure to be part of the team and learn the mentorship from Stephen Pierce.

The group of people that make it really possible are the Alpha Leaders. I posted here several of them that I know personally in the forum and glad to be learning from them.

Here James, full time internet marketer. A very helpful and caring leader. Check out his blog.

Cornel Tanady, one of my very good friend from Indonesia. Always that positive and inspiring ! The next leader in the making.

Laura, our dear SMCC affiliage manager. One that works tirelessly to reply our emails, our questions ! She's a talker like what she said !!! :) Thank You Laura

Our Dear Sharif, SMCC moderator and ever helpful forum leader. Thanks for guiding and always there to help when need arises

Another fantastic forum contributor ! Raymond...here's one of the favourite picture that I took with him.

Last but not least, our Dear Mentor, Stephen Pierce ! The one that really cares about the success of all those that he coaches. A true leader that is hard to find...

* With You, We will never walk alone !

The Finale

Day 3 UYMG ( Kuala Lumpur )

300907 - Stephen Pierce shared the various strategies on Traffic Generation Techniques. A summary of it are listed below :

Google Search Blog -
Search for blogs that are related to your own niche keywords and leave a constructive comments with a backlink back to your site.

Search for Forums -
Prticipate in discussion, same methodology as the above.
Search methodology >> Search Term+Forum

Youtube -
-Search for videos for keywords related to your niche.
-Search for authors that has several videos on the niche that you are promoting.
-Check out the first video with how many page views and anticipate his second video
-Be the first to post comment and resubmit comment after 20 posts.
-Subscribe to his video newsletter.
-Employ the same methods to Google Video, Yahoo Video, Metacafe and other video sites.


Niche Marketing 2.0

The next speaker is Patric Chan from Malaysia Penang. One of the up and coming "Internet Guru". His motto : You CHAN can do ! is quite a refreshing tagline.

He shared a very new concept in Internet Marketing. It calls Niche Marketing 2.0

Its an interactive 2 - way communication build on a platform with your visitors so that you can understand them for the purpose of building a relationship.

It uses the latest tactics and strategies to compete in this hot opportunity.

A Niche Market is not a product.

Characteristic #1
Applying Pull Marketing Strategy instead of Push Marketing.
- Blog with RSS Feed
- Free Podcast Subscription
- Press Release with RSS syndication
( Always check the PR company that you hire has RSS syndication )
* Focus on content rather than trying to outsmart the market.

Characteristic #2
To build a strong relationship with your prospects and customers as one entity instead of two.
- Create a survey tool

Characteristic #3
Separating youself as The Ultimate Authority in your Long Tail Niche Market
- Website | Blog
- Mailing List
- Product
- Joint Venture Partners
- YOU
* Be the leader by having the first hand content before others

Social Proof
Are you having a "conversation" with them ?

Medium used for Niche Marketing 2.0

Medium for Mass Syndication
- Podcasting
- RSS Feed
- Video Syndication

Medium to Enhance Personalisation
Enhance Personalisation
- Audio
- Video

The 3 Factors Of Profiting with Niche Marketing 2.0

The Rise of the Long Tail
The Long Tail Traffic

Recommended Tool - Spyfu

Exposing Yourself in Two Different Niches
Approach " Competitors"
- Be part of their business

Case Study Business Model
Games Portal Site - Flash Games
The Business Model - Portal Game Sites
The Traffic Source - Google Adwords initial impact ( Use Long Tail Keywords )
The Marketing Strategy - Viral Marketing
How To Monetise The Site - Adsense | Advertisement on my site | Sell other people's products

The Future of Niche Marketing 2.0
Three Characteristic
- Pull Marketing
- Build A Strong Relationship
- Becoming An Authority of Your Market

The 3 Factors of Niche Marketing 2.0
- Business Model
- Traffic Source
- Marketing Strategy

That covers pretty much for the 3rd day UYMG. Before I left, I took a picture with Frederick, a Belgium guy who is earning a 5 Figure income from Internet Marketing. I gleaned off a lot of tips from him and he is so willing to share. Nice guy ! Very rare indeed !

Day 2 UYMG ( Kuala Lumpur )

290907 - Its 3am in the morning now and I am still awake. I seldom managed to stay awake after a high powered seminar....Just went hotel downstairs and had a hot glass of milo. I wonder if its because of the HK prostitute next door negotiating her price with the man that woke me up from my light slumber :)

0845am The first speaker that came on stage was Dave Lakahni who is the CEO of BoldApproach.com His definition of Persuasion is the ability to get the masses to see your message as the one message that will change their life for the better right now. A fantastic speaker! Shared tons of info on the techniques on Persuasion. People buy what they believe and Internet Marketing is about persuading the masses to buy what you are selling, with no persuasion, there is no profit. There are 4 quadrants to a business formula, that is to

Attract | Convert | Leverage | and Retain

There are also 4 tactics that accompanied the business formula.

Tactic 1 -
Tell a persuasive story. Stories goes in under the radar and causes people to be attentive and curious. Grab me by the ears kind of effect. You need to

Lay the Foundation | Engage my Emotions | Layer on the Proof | Answer my Questions

Tactic 2 -
Develop a Persuasive Personal | Voice and Communication | Presentation and Positioning

Tactic 3
Controlling your audience

Tactic 4
Be an expert you have to be seen to sell

We break for 1 hour lunch before Stephen Pierce came on stage and "live" demonstrate the My Space techniques to drive traffic and find GAPS where you can dominate once you identify and position ready yourself. There are 4 quadrants that falls into

N - Needs
S - Solutions
E - Experience
W - Wants

Stephen showed how to find gaps in a niche market in My Space and position ourselves to take the lead and dominate the group with like minded people. Amazing and yet so simple technique..

Late in the afternoon, Christopher Guerriero, the millionaire author came up and shared "How to Write A Bestselling Book in 30 Days or Less "! His Tips as follows:

1 - Choose your subject ( Spend 1 full day masterminding )
2 - Write out main topics to cover ( bullet points ) ( 0.5 day max )
3 - Gather information for each topic ( 2-3 days )
4 - Record everything you know about each topic individually * conversational style * (1 day )

Outsource it
5 - Transcribe it ( 48 hours - $120 assuming 2 hours of audio )
6 - Clean it up a bit
7 - Send it to an editor to make you sound professional ( 7 days - $250 )
8 - Get it typeset and turned it into a professional looking book

2000pm - Jason Tan, a blogger from Malaysia shared how he earned his full time income from blogging using blogger.com.

His "youngest" student is 87 years old...!!! Check out this amazing "Young Man" site. He is amazing !!

22:06pm - Thats the time we just reached the hotel ! A full 13 hours of solid info !! Looking forward to tomorrow's event !!

Day 1 UYMG ( Kuala Lumpur )

280907 - Lab and myself arrived at the convention hall at 12pm and the place was already crowded with people all over the world. We had Stephen Pierce, Mike Filsaime and Greg Cesar speaking on stage.

Stephen Pierce -
On Being Strategic
1 - You must start from where you are.
2 - Strategy is about leveraging your current situation to advance your position.
3 - You build up dominate positions over time, like climbing a ladder.
4 - You must understand a position's potential as a stepping stone to future positions.
5 - Competitive positions are stepping stones. You are always using
your current position to move to a new and better position.
6 - To advance your position you have to take advantage of opportunities.
7 - You must always look for ways to advance your position because
the changing environment is eroding it.
8 - Strategy teaches that you take what is given to you and you use it...not lose it.

On Being Competitive
1 - Successful competition requires knowing what you can control and what you cannot
control.
2 - The more focused your efforts are, the easier it will be to win competitive battles.

Mike Filsaime -
Nuggets and Pearls
1 - Focus on List Building and Relationship Building -
It drives the Growthof the Business and give you your True Asset
2 - Maximise The Power of Viral Marketing
3 - Things Dont Always Go As Planned
4 - There is NO such thing as an Over Night Success.
5 - Keep Creating Content
6 - Present Offers While Time is right
7 - Grow with The Right Staff
8 - Tell Your Story, Share Your Results, Sell Your System
9 - Find The Right Mentors

How To Create Buzz
New
Fresh
Inspirational
Innovative
Controversial
Edgy
Humourous
Heart Warming
Taboo
Secretive
Engaging ( Participation )
Suspenseful

Delivery Mechanism
- Forced - Part of The Sign Up Process -
Myspace.com, Linkedin.com, Facebook.com
- Incentivized - Uses WIIFM
- Hyper Viral - Piggy Backing
- Self Advertising in the use of the product, or the use of the product
requires other friends an family to use the service.

Viral Marketing Workshop
- Take 3 minutes to write down your elevator speech for
your product. Can you tell your story in 30 seconds ?
- What is your USP ? - Unique Selling Proposition ( also Unique Selling Point )
- What is the Benefit to the user?
- How can they get it ? ( Website URL )

Proper Focus Procedure
Identify your project - Focus on 1 project at a time ( 30 Days )

Your Launch Checklist
- Market Research
- Get a Domain Name
- Develop Content
- Start Development
- Set Prelaunch Date
- Set Launch Date
- Design A marketing Plan
- Have Graphics Made
- Hire Copywriter
- Set Up A Merchant Account
- Setup Affiliate Program
- Setup Affiliate Page
- Make Public Announcement
- Set a Launch Contest
- Contact JV Partners
- Start PreLaunch
- Set Up Your Autoresponsers
- Test Fulfilment Process
- Have Support In Place
- Talk With Web Host And Merchant Account
- Launch Site, Email Warm List
- Focus On Post Launch Traffic

Maximizing Profits
- Up Sells
- Down Sells
- Cross Sells
- Bumps

Start - Free Offer - OTO >

They Buy Do Not Buy
- -
Up Sell Down Sell (50% off OTO )

Buy ( Platinum ) Buy ( Silver )

Do Not Buy ( Gold ) Do Not Buy ( Free )

and you thought that was all ? NO NO NO....
Greg Cesar, the next speaker shared his
own guarded Adwords secrets !

Mindset Marketing
- Think like they think
- Feel like they feel
- Breathe like they breathe
- Be what they be
- Know what they buy
- Dont follow the crowd
Amazon Books ( Property Investing )
Look for all book titles relating to property investing and bid on those titles.

Life Insurance
- Who are they ? They are not single people
- What are they looking for ? - New Home, job, career, more money
- Where are they getting it now ? Mortgage broker, car insurance,
home remodeler, homeowner insurance, financial planner.
- Why do they want it ? Provide for family
- When do they need it ? - Some now, some later. ( If the need is
immediate, then gostraight to sales landing page if not, then build
relationship

Rent Estate
- Who - Renters, home owners, sellers
- What - Fix their house, paint, interior decorator
- Where - Painters, interior decorators
- Why - New baby, new job, more money, home office
- When - Some now, some later

Google Strategies ( Do not allow Popups )
- Focus on CTR
- Global Territories ( English and All Territories )
- Geo Targetting ( Virginia ) * Turn it on and choose Virginia
- Site Targetted ( Choose this to tell Google that you only want your ad to show on
www.realtor.com )
- Launch New Campaign at night ( Launch midnight pacific time and turn them off
in the morning ) Do it for a few days and then lower your bid to increase your CTR.
- Test with Content Match before moving it into regular search campaign.
- Put Daily Budget Real High ( 200 Bucks Daily ) (Turn on your Accelerated view )
- Separate money keywords ( Increase your CPC ) and regular keywords into different
ad groups ( Decrease your CPC )
- Track broad, exact phrase match keywords individually ( If broad and phrase match
is not making money, drop your CPC )
- Do not edit existing ads
- Test new keywords as a campaign not as a group
- Set a separate campaign for content match ( Dont set separate bid for content match )
- Set budget to Accelerated View
- Turn off position preference
- Be careful of minimum cost per click
- Google Conversion Tracker
- Advance Strategy - Create 2nd Ad group in Native Language e.g Hong Kong

Creating Your Ads
- Be specific
- Use Numbers
- Stress the benefits
- Copy successful ads from magazines
- Write down Google ads and track them for a few weeks
- Tell them what they get
( Always do split test your Ads for your CTR and your Sales )

Overture | Yahoo ( Allows Popups )
- 4th Spot is a good spot if its a different product from your competitor ( if Same product,
do not allow competitor to have the first spot )
- Send traffic to a redirect on your site
- Send to optin page. High Conversions
- Popup on home page
- Popup on exit
- Bid high if you have competition, Bid lower if no competition in the same category
- Overture content match...Dont do

Google Trends
- Google.com/ Trend
- Geo targetted search results
- See who's searching where
- Get in for lower bids
- Great for offline marketing

Keywords
- Use Mindset Methodology to come up with keywords
- Action keywords vs regular keywords
- Find customers closer to the sale
( customers leave clues )
Take 2 minutes and come up with mindset keywords for a market that you
would like to promote

Money Words to search for
- How to
- Learn
- Where to
- Do it yourself
- Make
- Create
- How much
- Save
- Discount
- Buy
- Movie Titles ( Merchandising )

New Form of Keyword
Bid on Domain Names

Finding Niches
- Study your environment
- SRDS
- Back pages of magazines
- News
- USA Today
- EBay
- Business for sale guides
- Consumer reports
- TeraPeak.com
- Sitepoint.com
- Websiteforsale.com
- Buysell.com

The 4 Stages
Finding
Getting
Keeping
Growing

The speakers wanted to pack in as much info as possible during these 4 days seminar that there's no lunch and dinner break!! We din have it until 11pm...Well, thats an oversight on our part because we were told way before to self pack some sandwiches....Errr...We din pay enough attention to that :)

The various ideas given was spinning in my head even now and I am simply too excited to sleep..or was it the 5 cups of coffee that I had ?

Another thing that upsetted me was half way through the seminar, my boss called me on my personal cell phone to rush a report for a client....I din have the luxury of internet access in the hotel thus had to stay in the seminar room to try to complete it before sending it back to my team the next day...

Few more hours to go before 2nd day of UYMG !

I hope to achieve my goals by end 2007 and I can really say that I have the freedom to do the things whenever, whereever i am. Good Luck to me , Melvin and Love you Mum for watching over me all the time..! Misses you...

2nd Day in Kuala Lumpur

270907 - Woked up 1030am...Totally shacked ...The receptionist has the tendency to give us surprises...We were told once again to pack our luggage so that we are ready to shift to our economy room when its ready...So off we went to Times Square for shopping..I literally burned a hole in my pocket :) Bought 3 pants and 3 shirts..One of it is bright green ! Lab says lets give you a makeover !! I said yeah...let's give Jennifer a surprise when I get back to the office...:)

After my "bumper harvest" we had some street food..Its just simply yummy ! Wow..I couldnt resist having a second go at it ! But we kept our tummy for dinner ! :) The hotel where we stayed " Hotel Seasons View"..the whole street is vendors selling Portugese Fish, Satay, Zi Cha, Sotong, Chicken Wings...How to resist man ???

We ordered Satay, Chicken Wings and here is our Portugese Fish with Sotong, Lala..Spicy and taste super good !!




This is where you find all the nice hawker food...Its just right outside of the hotel where we stayed.



So this is me finishing the updating of this blog post. Tomorrow 12pm will be the start of the internet seminar with Stephen Pierce. I hope to post more photos here. Love you Mum !

Arrived in Kuala Lumpur !

260907 - Checked out First World Hotel at 11am and was on the bus all the way down to KL. Arrived at 12.:30pm. We spend an hour looking for the hotel that we booked not knowing that it was right in front of BB plaza. What a joke ! Was totally drenched as it was pouring but it was fun...Feels like a kid again. I totally totally appreciate having fun in the rain again ! :) The hotel story begins here :p The receptionist told us that we need to upgrade our room as the compressor was down ! :O I was quite amused but not Lab. She was quite pissed..haha..They finally agreed to let us have the upgrade room FREE and will shift us back to our economy room when the aircon is fixed. So off we checked in and found that we can get FREE wireless surfing...Cool ! We offloaded our luggage and went shopping and to Chinatown for our Portugese Fish !! My favourite !! By the time we are back, its about 11pm...slept like a log !!

2nd Day in Genting

250907 - Woked up 9:30am, had a sumptuous breakfast and off we went to the outdoor theme park. I had my first go with "The Lift" My heart nearly pop out when you suddenly feel the rush of free fall ! Now I know how it feels the moment when someone jumps off a high rise building commiting suicide.

Next we went to play GoKarting ! It was super fun..wish I could ram up the speed a bit..Its my first time and it was FUN FUN FUN !

We had a lot of fun and spend nearly the whole day at the theme park before going back to the hotel...dead tired !! Had a quick dinner before visiting the Casino...It was smokey...since we dont gamble, we took a walk and went back to the hotel to rest for the night before checking out for KL tomorrow...

Arrived in Genting !

240907 - We reached Genting at 3pm, after settling down with "danch" lunch+dinner, we explored the place. Its been years since I last visited and there's so much changes. The whole place is a theme park by itself with lots of entertainment, casino, shows, food and indoor roller coaster !! The weather is blrrr....Cold !! This picture is taken in Genting right now at Starbucks as I am updating this blog.

7pm - We went for our FREE magic show. Its a 1 hour show with lots of flying stuntman and the illusionist flying across the stage...Awesome !! It's about 8pm when we are done, more shopping and photo taking before we rest for the night....

Genting + UYMG Malaysia Trip

240907 - Mum, after my contract renewal, I decided to take a long long trip away from work and decided to go Genting with my good friend Lab as she managed to secure a good deal at $96 bucks for 2 nights stay in First World Hotel with a free magic show "FLY". Since we decide this to be a budget trip, we see how far we can go budgeting for this 10 days trip :) 5am in the morning, we took a bus into JB as we bought our coach ticket to Genting from there, half price as compared to buying it in SG. The other reason is also because I will be attending an internet seminar with my mentor coach Stephen Pierce.

A Man Of Few Words

200907 - Mum, I saw this on a billboard in Compass Point...So funny and yet so true...I remembered whenever you asked me " How's work? I always said "ok" and to me thats a good answer...hehe..but I guess to you, you expected me to talk a bit more...or at least a mini - verbal diarhoea.. Remember my last post about me attending the high powered seminar with my friend, one of the speaker talks about men being the hunter and woman being the gatherer...thats why woman is good at shopping...they gathers ! :)

A Day's Outing with Jordan

150907 - Mum, last week, Lab and me brought Jordan and his brother out for a day's outing since its been a long long time since we went out together. We went to Ikea for shopping and went to the children's play pen. Look how tall he has grown up..he was asking about you when he saw your picture that I had in my wallet...

Anthony Robbins - Unleash The Power Within

040907 - Mum, its been an extremely busy few weeks, thus hasnt been updating this blog. I went with a good friend to a highly charge motivation talk. I have posted the video here. I just got my contract renewed as well but there were some surprises here and there but shant list it here. I miss you mum...maybe too tired to write everything down. Simply put, things are looking up and I have a very strong vibes about it. Will update you when it happens.

End of 7th Month !

Hi Mum,
I visited you this evning..I hope you like the offerings....I misses you very much !!! :(

Dedicated to You, My Beloved Mum !

Mum, its coming 7th month festival soon. I already booked a prayer slot for you on 27th Aug. I will visit you after work. Coming 3 years now, I still misses you very much. I did up a short site for you. I hope you like it.

Cry...Cry...Wawawawa.....

Mum..see little Min Hui...I din see her for one month...they shaved her hair..nearly cannot recognise her...she is so notti...din see me for one month and cry whenever I tried to play with her :P

hmm..that means one thing..this Jiu Jiu face must appear in front of her more often....:)

What's the 10 Rules for Being Human ?

Mum,
I found this from one website. I like it very much. Like to share with you.

Ten Rules for Being Human

You will receive a body. You may like it or hate it, but it's yours to keep for the entire period.

You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time informal school called, "life."

There are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error, and experimentation. The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiments that ultimately "work."

Lessons are repeated until they are learned. A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it. When you have learned it, you can go on to the next lesson.

Learning lessons does not end. There's no part of life that doesn't contain its lessons. If you're alive, that means there are still lessons to be learned.

"There" is no better a place than "here." When your "there" has become a here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than"here."

Other people are merely mirrors of you. You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects to you something you love or hate about yourself.

What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

Your answers lie within you. The answers to life's questions lie within you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

You will forget all this.

Stupid Malaysia Custom Officer !!!

Mum....I am so angry !! I went with my HK friend to malaysia to extend her visa and guess what ? I was blackmailed by the custom officer..and he openly tells me its corruption and ask me how much I wanna pay him ?Cos he knows that my friend is just making a U turn in JB and back to Singapore where she will get extended for another 1 month.... Shitty isnt it ? I am so angry..finallly paid him RM70...sigh...

My Return Of Investment from Canada Property !!

Mum, I just gotten my 3 months interest from Amanda on one of the property that I invested in her company. She came back 2 days ago and passed me the amount by hand as she said it saves me the remittance cost. Its all in canadian dollar !! 50 brand new notes !! wow ! smells so good...No bank in Singapore pays that much interest..!!!! Thank you my dear sister Amanda !!

Attract Your Dreams

21th Jul 07 - Good morning Mum, its a saturday, I just finished washing my clothes, bedsheets, dad's big basket of clothes. Just having my coffee right now and writing my blog post. I have been going for my thrice weekly back pain therapy, every visit loosens the muscle a fair bit and if I skip few days from the treatment, I can feel the pain really bad...so the treatment continues....:)

I was flippping through all my books and notes when I found a notebook that I detailed some of the courses that I went through. One of the chapters notes that I copied down brings me back to the times when I was being exposed to the Law of Attraction. It says whatever things we have in life were attracted by the thoughts that we were thinking and subsconsciously focusing on.

I wasnt new to the concept of Law of Attraction but I wasnt paying enough attention to it. When I recollect back some of the things in my life right now, I realised that somehow or rather, I attracted it into my life because that thought ever cross my mind before and not only once..but many times...

I am beginning to be more aware of it now and I immediately started a blog on it.

I must admit that I have sidetracked a fair bit from it but I want to realign my thoughts again. The blog is called Attract Your Dreams.

I have also posted a wonderful movie called The Secret in the blog.

Mum, I want to attract this car !!!!

The Secret Ingredients ?

This car is sweet ! Attraction + Smart Work + Your Blessings!

Goodbye Uncle

14th Jul 07 - Mum, 11am, the Big Uncle hearse moved out to Bright Hill for the cremation. I understand from cousin Chai that its Uncle's wish that his ash to be thrown out to sea. I am sure it takes Uncle a lot of courage to spell out his wishes knowing his time is near...

The cycle of our life...birth and death..
We rejoiced at the welcoming of new born...We repulse at the demise of our loved ones.. Its a stage of our lives that we have to walk this path, the important thing is - how aware are we in our surrounding circumstances?

When I looked at Uncle's body lying in the coffin, I asked myself, how did he feel when he told his children that he wants his ash to be return to Mother Nature at that moment when he was conscious.

The clock ticks and catching his last essence of breath, he left......

Big Uncle passed away this morning !

08th Jul 07 - Mum, these few days I have been wanting to share with you that Big Uncle is very sick due to his relapse of liver cancer and is waiting for time. I visited him last week and he doesnt look good, but he can still recognise me. Big Aunt told me that he wasnt feeling any pain but could not eat. The only thing that he could consume was milk. This morning, elder brother Chai Soon messaged me, big uncle passed away. I was very sad but guess thats the best way to relieve him of his sufferings if any. We get so caught up and busy with little things in life that certain things gets clouded by urgent and important stuffs that we think is important. I am constantly reminding myself to be aware and cherish the people and friends around me and always pray for them and bless them with good health.

How far should we go in helping others?

Beloved Mum, remember my previous post about my filipino tenants borrowing money from me? I hate to believe that people are taking advantage of my kindness. My friend's wife who has been staying at our place for 2 yrs has owed 3 months rent and she also borrowed $100 from me last month. As my friend's best friend, I really find it so difficult to approach his wife for the arrears..sigh...

$2400 Chiropractic Treatment

Mum, today I went to collect my spinal x ray results. I had a full Neck | Mid Back | Lower Back | Pelvic scan being done. Dr Gerry from Chiropractic First explained to me my condition based on 3 different phases of the " Subluxation Degeneration" aka Spinal Decay. I am at Phase 2 of the chart moving on to Phase 3. The whole 1 year treatment is $4,500 !! I nearly choked when the chiropractor doctor told me. I opt to sign for a 3 months intensive care and see how it goes...Sigh...signs of old age? I will recover, Mum,...and take good care of my back like what I promised you...Love you!

Life's unfair ! wait till you watch this video!

Beloved Mum,

My friend send me this video. This lady is amazing. While most of us whine , complain about life, about government, about everything on earth except ourselves, this lady gives a different perspective...She did what most of us would have given up..I am truly humbled after watching !

Medical Bills Kills !

020707 - Hi Mum, today I went for my scheduled appointment at Chiropractic First. Had a 30 mins consultation followed by a detailed hand scan of my spinal by the doctor. He explained why certain spots behind my lower back is giving me that numbness of my arm and fingers. I was asked to go for a full spinal scan and guess how much that cost me ? $261 !!! work work work and pay pay pay...that's how the world works huh ! 010707 - The government increased the GST to 7%. My ex company NETS also increased the merchant transaction fees for their Nets Terminal. Its a matter of time that they will pass those cost to consumers like us :( wonder what's next !

300607 - Dear Mum, today I went Johor Bahru with my friend to watch the movie Transformer...and guess how much we paid for the movie ticket for both of us? Its only 11rm ! thats $5.50 for both of us...That's a steal ! In Singapore, that would have costs us $20 in Singapore!! There's a promo for OCBC credit card thats why we can get 2 tickets for the price of 1...wooowee.....love you mum!

290607 - Mum, I was just chatting with my msn friend Yvonne that I met "online". She asked me...you din update your blog for quite a while...I was like..hmm...so somebody do keep track of my post...I never knew anyone would want to read about my blog...When I checked my last post, it was on 10th Jun..so it's been quite a while since I last wrote to you. Nothing much has happened except that my back pain is worse than before. I went for a spinal scan and the consultant strongly recommended me to see a chiropratic becos the scan looked quite bad and I have been experiencing pain and numbness on my fingers and arm.

To Yvonne,

Thanks for reading my blog. I know you have been going through a tough time in life, if there's 100 reasons for you to give up, there's always 1 reason in life for you to carry on. What's that reason?

My Dearest Mum,

Been a long time since I last wrote to you. Was busy for a while. I attended a World Internet Summit in Singapore and signed up for a coaching course. Today I went to JB for a mastermind meeting. Just back only. I am going to learn all I can and make an outrageous income from the online world. By 2010, my long term goal is to fulfil and setup a trust fund under your name and also adopt an orphanage in Chiang Mai. My short term goal is to quit my job by end of 2008. Watch over me Mum..Love you and misses you much !

130507 - Happy Mother's Day ! This is the 3rd year already.....I misses you very very much, Mum...Every minute, every day of my life..I wish you were still around...especially when it comes to this occasion...I visited you today..and I hoped you like the flowers...

I quote a phrase from Today's paper and it so evocatively pointed out this...

My mum is special because......
She is the doctor when I am not feeling well....
She is the financial adviser when I am not able to handle my own accounts...
She is the chef when I am longing for home cooked food...
She is the listener when I need someone to talk to...
She is the tutor when I dont understand certain aspects of life..
She is the friend whom I laugh and share happiness with...

Dearest mum, you were special not just because of all these....You were special because you make a difference in my life....I love you Mum....I misses, misses, misses you tons !

Mum, look what I have found...Choo Jie passed this to me. She was your bride's maid during yr wedding. She kept this for many years. I had dinner with her and Steven last weekend and only had time to upload now. Beautiful ! isn it ? Misses you Mum !

Mum, I went to visit Min Hui last sunday. She is sooooo cute...Tina said that when she is hungry, if you put yr finger near her lips..she will start wailing away !! hehe...I tried teasing her....haha...such a cruel Jiu Jiu huh....I took 2 videos of her...take a look !

Mum !! Remember the post on 31st Jan ? I wrote about meeting up with a friend of mine. Her name starts with N and her nick is butterfly ? We caught up for dinner again last night..We had so much to talk about that for a moment now, I dunno how to blog about it..anyway...It was good feeling...hehe...Love you Mum ! Mother's day coming..I will visit you soon...

Baby Shower Time ! Little Min Hui first month !
Mum ! See how cute and lovely she is....and yes one more thing...All my filipinos shifted out of my place already. They found a whole house unit at Bedok. Would you believe it ? They are short of money to pay the deposit and asked to borrow $2K from me while delaying their payment of their outstanding rental payment...they even asked if I could give my rice cooker to them if I am not using it..:( I am not a petty person but I guess sometimes a line has to be drawn...too nice a person will be taken advantage of? Sometimes I really really beg to differ..but....

Some updates !
Mum, its been a while since I last spoken to you. Been crazily busy with work. Nowadays I am very active in sports ! hehe...I play badminton 4 times a week with Kok Keng and Andrew, swim on every sunday with Sanny !...even my office colleagues are influence by me. Jennifer and her boyfriend joined us last week. They had a fun time ! I have so much things to update you. Remember I told you about my HK friend..She has moved in to our place in Punggol. She sold everything in HK and intend to find a job here in SG. She will be stay at our place temporary until she settles down with a job. Tomorrow is Ching Ming already. I will visit you in the evening after my work. I miss you very much Mum ! This sunday is Cousin Tina Baby's shower ! So fast, one month ! The whole family will be there...will take some nice pictures and show you. Meanwhile, as always...look after my shoulders and bless our family with good health...Love you Mum ~ muck ~

It's Ching Ming Festival...
Mum, time flies !! It's Ching Ming again...I booked a prayer slot for you. When the weather is hot, you never like to sleep on the mattress but on the cold hard floor, so every year Ching Ming, I tried to make it a point to book the air condition prayer hall for you. Its pretty cooling actually with all the fellow aunties and uncles keeping you company...The big big buddha is also there, so you will have plenty of kakis to play cards with you...So see ya on 5th April. I will be there after work to visit you ok. Love you ! Oh yes one more thing mum, remember I told you that I bought my urn just right above you...My urn number is 3249. When the time comes, I will be with you soon...

My First Cheque from Internet Marketing ! Anyone who tells you, there's no opportunity in starting their own business, show them this cheque !:)
Mum, what a surprise! after a badminton game last night, I came back and open the letter box..guess what I found !!! I found a cheque of $143.14 from Clickbank ! Its a internet business venture that I am exploring...no capital layout, just affiliate programme ! That sure is a boost of confidence ! hehe..I am so excited about it !

Ouch ! $240 and counting ....
Mum, these few weeks, I have been having a sharp pain on my left lower tooth whenever I drink cold drinks..its that stinging pain...but I kept putting it away until yesterday when I could not stomach the pain anymore....I was having Nasi Briyani and I accidentally use my left lower tooth to bite on the mutton and the pain was just unbearable...I teared and clenched my fist...! haha..that's how painful...I took time off and went to see the dentist..my first female dentist all my life. Took xray and found some decay and a big hole next to the spot where I took out my wisdom tooth months back..Well..her professional advice is to salvage the tooth instead of extraction..so after 3 jabs, some digging, some grinding sound..and some nice soothing humming song that the doctor din realised she was humming...I was out of the clinic..but that's not the end..She said I have to go for root canal treatment by a specialist..estimated bill is $800 and back to her for crowning to secure the tooth, not too sure how much that will cost.....I bet the bill all in all will come up to $1600...I called up my doctor friend to recommend his dentist friend and see if I can get it at a cheaper price..hopefully halve it :) Here's the damage !

Medicine - $20
Examination & Diagnosis - $10
Bitewings & Periapical X Rays - $15
Opg / Lateral Celphalogram - $45
Emergency1: Pulpectomy Premolars & Mol - $150
Total Bill - $240

Specialist Root Canal Treatment - $800 estimated
Crowning - $600-$1000 estimated

I am broke !!! but not poor yet...:P

The clock is ticking...

Mum, I made a hypothetical assumption that I will live till the ripe old age of 70 years old. At the time of this post, I have 12034 Days, 20 Hours, 46 Minutes before I leave this world..When I look at it...12034 days doesnt seem to be a lot of time left isnt it ? I wonder how many people in this world actually look at the number of days they are left with...It gives me a new perspective in life...What are the things that I have not done yet ? What is the value of my time everyday? Is it well spend ? Have I told the person that I am secretly in love with that I appreciate her friendship? Have I done my small part in any way possible to make this earth a better place to live in?

09:28- Where do we draw the trust line?

Good morning Mum, it's been raining these two days...I have some thoughts to share...You know I have always been an accomodating person. I will go to great extend to help people from sponsoring my tenants for their visa extension, using my credit card to help them buy air ticket and let them pay me back in instalments and even let them delay their room rental payment. It came to a point when I asked myself if my graciousness and willingness to help people lead them to think that I am a easy friend to borrow money? One of my ex filipina tenant called me and asked me to lend her $700 for her dad's kidney operation. My "so called" good filipina friend whom I trusted and co-invested a condo in Phil some how also dont bother to update me what's happening to our investment.. .It makes me think again...Can I ever trust "so called" friends again ?

180307- Beauty and 2 Beasts !
Mum, yesterday I visited Granny in Jurong together with your beloved grandson. Granny looks great but still adjusting to the new environment. Ah Yi was at cousin Tina's house helping out with the newborn. The 2 little ones went swimming with me also. You see, ! They never failed to climb all over me whenever there's a camera around ! :) I also took some videos of Jordan Ka_La-Oking ! You should watch it..It's so hilarious ! Love you mum !

Mum, my friends struck 4D again ! and I missed it yet again ! Today in the office, I was telling them to buy 0315 which is little princess Bin Bin weight and delivery time - 0315. They went to pool the funds and roll the numbers but I went ahead and buy the actual number instead. Wah ! who knows the number came out in consolation prize. One of my colleague Pearly strike twice ! One is 1303 which she rolled the numbers and struck $2K and now this time. Another good friend and colleague Jennifer whom I did not buy 1303 the other time for her because I intended to buy on weekend but instead it came out on wednesday. This time round she strike $100. Treat it as a consolation...and you guess what! The very first time number 1640 also came out (14thMar) and (18thMar) again. The number kept jumping!

Gosh...how lucky can one get huh ! So really no luck for me huh Mum ? Miss you !

Mum, here's the count so far for all those who strike 4d on the numbers that I have given..hehe...

Pearly strike $2000 because she rolled 1303 | I decided to buy on weekend instead of wednesday so I missed it.

Li Hwei strike $500 because she accidentally rolled 1303.

Pearly, Jennifer + a few more colleagues strike 0315 because they pooled the funds to roll the numbers.

So Mum, when is my turn huh ? hehe..

130307- Mum, its official !! I am an uncle now...haha. Cousin Tina delivered a beautiful princesss ! Eleanor Pan..Chinese name is Bin Bin..She is so lovely...fell in love at first sight...You would have been so happy for her if you were still around...I saw her yawn ! and cried and yawn again...awwww......but this uncle not bad at pacifying her...lol...I wonder if this little princess will shower some 4d luck on me..:) The delivery time is 3.15am...her weight is also 3.15kg...hmm..let's see if this weekend 4d will come out..hehe

Lesson 1 >> Wei Ming showing how to wrap a 16hours old baby and I am paying close attention and learning..haha

Mum, we shifted out from our beloved home Hougang yesterday. A place where you brought me up, a place where you continued your home styling business from Toa Payoh, a place where I spend my childhood days..30 over years..I missed it so much..The aunties where you spend your afternoon chatting your time away were so sad that we are shifting but they also understand the circumstances why we are shifting..The movers came around 12pm and started to load the boxes of items into their truck. I learnt from Ah Di after I went there that Granny suddenly fainted on her wheelchair. Understand from Uncle Heng who rushed down after Ah Yi called him that Granny may have misunderstood that we are sending her to the old folks home, thats why she was upset and suddenly fainted. Thank God she is okay. She is not going to the old folks home Mum, Ah Yi and me will take care of her...Ah Yi also quite stress cos Cousin Tina was admitted to hospital yesterday morning as her water bag burst and is due for delivery..now waiting for news if she has delivered.

120307-Goodbye Hougang Ave 3 #08-303*still trying to fix landscape video to portrait view*








10:00pm - Ah Yi called me...finally Granny is settled down at her place but her whole house is very messy with all the stuffs that was shifted from Hougang. This weekend, I will be bringing Jordan over and pay Granny a visit. She misses him so so much..I am trying to upload the videos that I have taken but apparently its showing it in landscape view rather than portrait view..so have to tilt your head to watch the videos temporarily while I think of a way to fix it....:)

100307- Its 2 years already...
Today is your 2nd year memorial day on the chinese calendar. We went to the temple and I bought tons of things for you. :) Tomorrow we are shifting out of Hougang and moving granny to Jurong. Ah Yi remind me to tell you that we are shifting to Parc Oasis Unit Number #17-05 Block Fuscia " please dont go back to Hougang and visit us as today is our last day to vacate the place to the new owner. I will take some beautiful pictures to show you after we settle Granny down at Parc Oasis. Ah Di told me yesterday that Granny occassionally will pee on her pants without knowing. Guess its her old age, she doesnt know...I went back to Hougang yesterday and played with the notti ones. They keep pestering me to take some pictures of them. So here you go ! Your beloved grandson, Jordan !

23:03- My friends struck 4d ! Thanks to you Mum !
Mum, my good friend Li Hwei called me up. I always call her Xiao Mei. We worked together in M1 before as well as in NETS....She is also one of the people that I chatted with and asked her to buy 1303 ! I told her to buy just $1 and dont be greedy...She told her hubby to buy exactly what I told her but when I called her to ask if she strike,she said her hubby bought 1303 but din roll the number...How sad ! Surprised Surprised, she called me just 5 mins ago and said her hubby make a mistake and bought dunno what system and paid $140 for it and dare not tell her....who knows..they strike $500...This morning when she was emailing me, she told me that she hoped she will strike the number with your blessings..! and she really struck..with a twist of course ! You really listen huh Mum ! She said that this saturday when I go and pray to you for the second year, she would like to buy something for you..So Mum, are you going to give me a 3rd chance, since your son missed 2 chances already...hehe...but I am glad that some of my friends strike...my office colleague Pearly also strike 2K after I told her to buy....I always believe in Givers Get...Pay It Forward in life and you will get it back many times...So if you are going to give me another chance, let me know ya...Weekend 4D , here I come again !

20:03- What a feeling ! I missed the 4D again !!! Grrr.....Mum, I really have no luck in 4D or should I say 4D conscious or discipline to go and queue up and buy...I missed the 4D again ! Haha....today I was telling my colleagues how I missed the first prize for 0416 and I have a strong nagging feeling that 1303 will come out..hopefully this weekend ! Man proposes , God disposes...It came out tonite 3310 starter prize....!!!!! I even called up god sister Jennifer how much it would be if I buy 1303 roll 12 times for this coming weekend !! She asked me if I want to buy today but I said I will buy for the weekend and god knows what ! It came out starter today !! I remembered what I wrote today in the below post...!@#$%^&* KNOCK MY HEAD.....When my colleagues called me earlier on and asked if I bought...I nearly fainted !! Not again....I missed it again !! They struck a few thousands..haha....So now they can sponsor me free lunch for the next one year...Anyway, I am glad that they strike also..Are you behind this Mum? :) So it seems that this year is a good 4D year for me huh ! Mum...


11:35am- What a feeling !
Mum, I got this nagging feeling that I am going to strike 4D after I missed out on 0416. Let me share with you what happened...I went Lou Yu Sheng with my classmates last weekend, remember I told you ? 13 of us went...the date is 03rd March..So I said okie, lets bet on 1303...and it also happens that this 1303 is also Andrew's old van car plate number..coincidence right ? and yesterday I went with Ah Yi to buy the "Gim Jua" the chinese offerings of money to be offered to you this saturday...the number appearing on the paper is also 303. Our hougang house unit number is 08-303 ! Seems like I cant miss this one..if it really come out and I forgot to buy, I am going to !@#$% and bang my head ! So give me some blessings of luck ya ! Weekend 4D, here I come !

10:21am- Another property investment
Mum, I would like to let you know that I have invested $21,000 in another property that Amanda has proposed to me. This evening I will be signing the investment agreement with her dad who is a lawyer in Singapore. I hold a 50% ownership of the property with a 50% monthly net rental income or 20% per annum of the investment sum. For many a times, I have wanted to share this opportunity with my close friends but most of them were afraid that its a scam which I truly understand thus I have since refused to mention anything about my investment portfolio. Lavie has invested $2,500 on this property with no equity and I have apportion a monthly interest of $41.60 to her which is 20% per annum as long as she keeps her investment with me.How much is the bank paying ? Mum... 1% per annum...The "BANKS" are the real loan sharkers !

070307- My very good Friend Lavie
Mum, let me introduce this friend of mine. I knew her from the chat room for quite a number of years just like how I know Mr Ang Mo Swiss. We became very good friends and she often come to Singapore for holidays and stayed at our Punggol House...I also brought her to Malaysia KL for tour. 2006 when I went to HK, I stayed at her place. She brought me to Macau, Shen Zhen, Zhu Hai and she also brought me to good food joints in HK...Nice and Cheap ! This year, she has decided to resign from her job in HK and move to SG and look for a job, so for the time being, she will temporary stay at our place until she settles down with a job and find a new place.

21:42 - Spotted Ants on my kitchen table ! Yucks !

Mum, share with you some frustrating things! recently my tenants broke my toilet door handle ! 5 years in this home, I have never broke any of the handle..I am now looking for a replacement for the handle...looks like I have to change the whole door..and when I came back home just now, I saw ants on the dining table ! Yucks ! This is the first time after 5 years of staying in Punggol that I spotted ants in my kitchen ! I nearly freaked out ! I shouted across the room " My house is infested with ants ! " My tenants came rushing out...They know I am very very particular about cleanliness at home...they quickly washed the plates which they left in the sink ! Hmp ! so angry !

060307- So inspired by this guy ! Would love to meet him !
Mum, this is a true story of a man whose sole mission was to reach out and hug a stranger to brighten up their lives...Sometimes a hug is all we need...How many of us reach out to "hug" our friends, our loved ones, our family members?

In this age of social disconnectivity and lack of human contact, the effects of the Free Hugs campaign became phenomenal.
Free Hugs in Singapore Orchard Mrt Station!
The FREE Hugs campaign inspired by Juan Mann created a worldwide phenomenal sensation. I searched through Youtube and found Free Hugs videos all over the world!

That's what I called Inspired !

As this symbol of human hope spread accross the city, police and officials ordered the Free Hugs campaign BANNED. What was then witness is the true spirit of humanity come together in what can only be described as awe inspiring.

Spend some time hugging your loved ones...thats what they need !

030307- I found my name in Yahooooooo !
Mum, I was idling at home the whole day and just waiting for time before I leave the house to meet my classmates for "Yu Sheng" around 8.30pm. I tried searching for my name "Melvin Tan Kok Liang" in yahoo and guess what I found....I found my name in this article send in by this doctor... " Comfort in the face of Death" Here is a portion of the quote..

"Talking about death is a critical exercise if we want to live life more fully. It will also reduce unnecessary guilt, such as that expressed by Melvin Tan Kok Liang with regard to terminating life support for his mother.

.

" He had, in fact, made the correct and most loving decision for her. He had given her good end-of-life care by deciding to terminate a futile medical procedure that was not prolonging life, but simply delaying the onset of death "

Mum, after reading this article, I asked myself...Did I made the correct and most loving decision for you ? Though I never did forgive myself for letting you go till now, I believed during that time with the doctor's consultation, it was the best decision not to prolong your sufferings that I agree...I love you dearly Mum...and if there's anything that I could wish for, thats to keep you by my side for as long as possible...but as the saying goes...to love someone is to let her go and this sentence says it all...I love you Mum, thats why I had to let you go...

Mr Melvin Tan's article almost had me in tears "

.

Letter from Dr Patrick Kee Chin Wah

Letter from Yap Kian Eng

030307- Corny Videos !
Good Morning Mum, today woke up late !! 10.30am...First time after so long that I knocked out till this late...I spend some time cleaning up the house..its so dusty !!! You know...every weekend whenever I cleaned the house, I will get flu...thats why the tenants always said that I have the weekend flu .....hehe....My friends send me 2 funny videos...its abit corny but its for a good laugh....

020307- Grrrr....Missed the chance to be $25,000 richer !
Mum, do you know what happened? I missed the 1st prize 4D !!! When we went chalet with our 62 relatives, Alan ( Ah Por ) made a speech thanking the organiser for the yearly event as its this yearly gathering that really bonds us together. He volunteered to set up a website for the Tan Family. He named it tentatively www.16jalanaliran.com as 16 is the unit number of our old house in KangKar and Jalan Aliran is our road name. The chalet unit number is 40 so we all decided to buy 1640. Days later, remember I told you we went karaoke? 16 of us turned up ! After that we went supper with Choo Jie, the food bill came up to $16.40 ! The next day I saw a car plate 1604 ! So I was telling Ah Yi and my friend Jac to buy 1640 or 0461 as its too much coincidence ! I even asked my friend Jac how much if I buy $5 and roll it 24 times..The truth is I forgot to buy !!! The number 0416 came out 1st prize..if if if...if I had bought it..I am $25,000 richer...haha !! So you see Mum, I never had such luck with 4D. My tenants says I am not 4D conscious !..haha...So hardwork is the only way to go huh...Love you Mum ! Just bless me, Ah Yi and family plus all my friends and relatives with good health is good enough...









010307- Love you Mum! 2nd year Memorial Anniversary..
Mum, today is the 2nd year Memorial Anniversary. Time flies...its been 2 years already. I took leave today to pay you a visit. Do you like the flowers? On the 9th Mar its the chinese calendar which you have passed on, I have also taken leave to bring some offerings to you. Ah Yi wont be going cause she is currently busy preparing for Tina's baby delivery. I also put a memorial advertisement and also change the picture to this one which you were smiling.isnt it beautiful ?

When I was onboard the ship sailing to Thailand looking at the sky with all those bright stars....I reflected back for the past 2 years..the "things" that I have done for you....I visited you, I bring offerings to you, I yearned for you, I "talked" to you, I did 101 things for you....Why ? I think hard...I am sure you would be happier if I had done one thing right when you were around rather than 101 things when you are gone...

2 years has passed....there is one thing that I want to do and I want to do it right.....You know I have blogged about dad on previous post about him accusing me about having affairs with the maid, about me flaring up after knowing the money you left for him was gone after 6 months of your departure, about him throwing away the medicine and accusing the maid of doing so..about him selling his shares through his friends help when I refused to sell for him...about him not knowing even the basic things like cooking instant noodles, washing his own clothes...etc..etc...I would like to put all these behind me....forgive and forget....he is after all my father...and your husband....You went through 36 years of your life with him and his nonsense ..You took sooo good care of him when you were around....now its my turn.....I will take care of him for the next 36 years...This will be the last time that I am going to mention him in this blogsite...

You rest well Mum ! I love you....

280207- Thank you my friends ! for the past 2 years..

Mum, another 6 mins time, its your 2nd year memorial date...As I think about the events 2 years back, I have many new and old friends, classmates, colleagues to thank for walking that 2 years with me....These are the friends that has been with me for many years and we shared a lot of happy, sad, crazy memories...Some of them has left for oversea work as well as business and some migrated...Whenever I chat with them on MSN, we always laugh over the lame jokes that we had, reminiscing of the good old days...crapping about lives, "beaching" about bosses and work..etc..etc...haha..

I absolutely love them...We have been the best of friends for many years..

They have diverse backgrounds, values & beliefs, outlook for life and life experiences but they have never impacted adversely in one way or another. All these years, they live their lives differently and return to share their encounters with me... Chatting with them always yields more than book-reading.

I never once took this friendship for granted. I always feel that I am very blessed to have them around and fall back on whenever I fall. I may not see or talk to them everyday, but deep down I know they will always be there for me, I only need to ask.

Having said that, hey, no, I think I never had to ask. They just flew to me whenever I need them :) Mum Jo hor ? if you are reading this post..:)

Every chat with them is filled with endless laughter. Not the same laughter I share with others. Always so genuine, like those you burst during the teenage days. They come from bottom of my heart. I laughed, my eyes laugh, my heart laughs too.

When I was younger, I always stayed very quiet to watch them(classmates) yak away and my god...they can really talk...just like those market aunties...You do remember Gilbert, the fatty guy...he was the lime wire of the group...30 years of friendship...

Over the years, they always fail to send out pictures taken ever since the digicam's birth. Pictures stored in their computers always gone with the wind when microsoft OS PC decided to die on them....* thats why i use a mac..haha * I have since uploaded all the pictures that I have taken to an online storage...

And most importantly, I remember every story behind each pictures. I relished each and every line, every smile and every precious moment.

Today, I was browsing through some of the school days pictures...We are still very young at heart....I find that we do not age, only the friendship does, and like wine, it mellows as time passes… words of wisdom...haha.

Goodbyes are always hard. Each time I wave them goodbye, my heart grows heavy. Each time I bid them. goodbye, I fear, not knowing if I will see them again, for I do not know what lies ahead.

What if tomorrow never comes?

I just wanna take this opportunity to thank all my friends, colleagues, buddies for leaving foot prints in my life...

The first picture is Rani. One of my best best buddy. She was my ex colleague during my Compaq days, till to date, we are still in touch and co incidentally, she was also the one that connected me to my current job in HP. She has a blog that is selling Kurti. The second picture is Jennifer, she was my team mate during Compaq days and now we are working together again in HP. These are the friends that cross path with me and till today, we remain the best of friends.

Amanda and Mr Low who shared their properties investment with me from Canada, Mum Josephine Aaron who has been a close friend as well as buddy from ex M1...Rani who is my ex colleague from Compaq...and my cousins and friends whom I am not able to list down one by one..Thank you very much...

270207- The innocent little monster !

Good Morning, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and Good Night Mum...:) I found some hidden treasures at home...Look at all these pictures ! I think I am just few months old...I missed that chair....haha

Finally, I graduated !








The Grown up me !





240207- Our Dear neighbour Nasek Lemak Auntie
Mum, do you still remember Ting Ting ? Ah Gwee's mum has been our neighbour for so many many years, we always call her Nasik Lemak Auntie cos she has a stall at our dry market. Before Jordan's family shifted to be our neighbour, you doted Ting Ting like my own daughter.









I remembered that you ever asked me if I ever wanted to adopt her but I din give it a hard thought ! Now she is 9 years old and so pretty.She is so shy to even take a picture with me..haha.. Her sister Hui Hui is also grown up...She is 5 years old now. I visited them during the new year season...chatted with Auntie. She also said that if you were still around, you always visit her during CNY and she will also bring Ting Ting over to our Hougang...Auntie said that one day she would like to come to our Punggol place and prepare home cook food for me cos she knows I always eat outside...Your circle of friends are just like you...kind, warm and so hospitable... Auntie also asked me if I still want to adopt Hui Hui as my goddaughter...You see, your son so popular !! haha...Hmm...Let me count how many "unofficial" godsons and daughters do I have...Jordan is considered official as my nephew instead of a godson...my filipina's friend Joyce's son Jerryc is my godson...though I was not there for the baptism in Netherland....Our dear cousin is giving birth to a baby girl soon..should be anytime this week..I will ask her to let me be her daughter godfather ...:) So you see, while you are eagerly waiting for me to get married, which I am trying very hard to find a good lady, you just have to bear with me first.... okie...Mum...Love You !

3:30pm - My Super Duper Sumo Beloved Mum Josephine...
Mum !!! Remember I shared with you that I have a friend named Josephine from U.S that I always communicate with ? I met up with her today at Jurong East Mac Cafe Joint. She will be going back to U.S tomorrow. Awwww. I am going to miss her....miss the corn fields, miss the soya bean fields that she shared with me about....For 3 years.....we always catch up when she is back but we did not get our picture taken...Now this time, I make sure we take a quick snap of ourselves..lol.... Isn't she beautiful ? My dearest friend Josephine...Bon Voyage...!

p.s Mum Jo, if you are reading this blog, I want you to know that you are dearly missed!

240207- 07:00am - If only AGE is not a criteria..They would have been the future Project Superstars and The Dance Floor Winners ! :P
Gooooood morning Mum ! Cho San !!! So much things to update you....Let's start with my activities last night....Ah Huat, Ah Ruan, Ah Por, Ah Mui will be going back to Australia, Germany, China, Shanghai today..so Ah Tong and his wife May has arranged for a farewell dinner at Sushi Tei in Serangoon Gardens for "sushi buffet" yeah ! May ordered so much food ! For many years, I dont recall having such a fun occasion whereby we gathered together for food, fun, laughter in such a big group.......16 of us turned up...then we head for Ka-La-Ok...Boy ! You should see some of our singers and dancers........They simply rock....I have uploaded some of the videos taken !









After that, we went for Supper at Chomp Chomp....Choo Jie spoils us all ...haha...We had soya bean, po piah, laksa and some others...

230207 - My new found friend Ling + My Job Interview !
Dear Mum, last night I went for my second interview. Met up with Cinda, the HR manager and Lai Kuan. Talked about my job experience and if I am selected for the job, how do I fit into the organisation. I have a good feel about how I fared but they will have to discuss with my manager when she is back from holidays next week. Let's see how it goes...Wednesday night, I met up with an IRC friend for dinner at a japanese restaurent...She is also a dog lover :) We walked in Robertson Quay and around there for a longgggggggggggg time..You can imagine how long huh ! :) and finally end up in a coffee joint. Chat about life, her career, me , my life and some others..Talking to her makes you think..cos she is quite an intellectual lady...A few things she said tickles my mind....this is one of it and is how I feel and interpret it..."Harvesting Inner Peace" Human beings looks happy on the outter being but deep inside them , they are not..I gave it a hard thought...I have never ever written a journal before in my life...and I only started a blog about you when I could not find an outlet to vent out my lonliness and yearning for you. I have been blogging and communicating with you for 2 yrs now...in physical form, you are non existence..Am I cultivating and harvesting inner peace? In fact come to think of it, yes I am and I feel so good and comfortable just "talking" to you. A lot of people knows happiness comes from within but yet they never knew how to cultivate and harvest that..We are lost in the material world...chasing after things which satisfies our wants but not our basic needs...Happiness manifest from within us...and I am glad that I am harvesting that inner peace without even knowing it...Thanks to you Mum and also my new found friend , Ling !

200207- Tan Family Yearly Gathering !
Mum, I paid you a visit this morning...such a coincidence, some of Dad's cousin were also there. They can recognised me...I was stunned for a while when they called my name....they asked me if dad came with me...told them I came alone to visit you... after that I went lunch with my ex m1 colleagues before going back and pick up dad to go for his relatives yearly CNY gathering...As usual..sigh...he is dying to give away money....asked me for ang pow packets...I passed him $120 ($10) notes...When he was there, he gave it all away..I just kept quiet...I suppose each ang pow contains $10 bucks...I dunno what is going through his mind about pretending that he is rich and trying to show off...I am not against giving away ang pow to children as its our tradition but he must know how much to give..moreover he doesnt want to work and yet want to show people that he is rich...:( pengz san ! anyway..enough of him...

This is the second year that we have organised this event. Make a guess how many turned up ? 62 of them!! Some came back from oversea as far as Germany just for this reunion. Steven(Lye Soon) started this yearly gathering thing becos after grandma passed on, the Tan family seldom meet up except for funeral wakes so he suggested a happy yearly affair gathering rather than always get to meet up during white affairs. Last year, I was one of the committee member and we organised a huge one at Pasir Ris Resort.





This year Janivfer, one of my cousin was "tasked" to take over the rein and she organised this one at Safra Country Club. 62 of our relatives turned up...I almost cannot recognised some of the nieces and nephews..they were all grown up ..I remembered they were still babies years back...Gosh...Time flies...I am old liao..haha..Its about 4 generations.....now the daughter of the aunties has gotten married and given birth to little ones...wow ! Next year, I am one of the committee member to assist the Chairman to organise the gathering...:)


190207- I am going to be a Uncle soon !
Mum, I went over to Granny place. We had bee hoon with Ah Yi and the 2 notti kids and Tina and Wei Ming. Tina is giving birth anytime soon. Granny will have a grand daughter to play with next time.. hohoho....A quiet new year for me....2 days at home !. :0

180207 - Home Alone
First Day of Chinese New Year !!! Happy New Year Mum !!!!! I stayed home the whole day....had Macdonald for lunch...Surprisingly our relatives din call at all....maybe they are busy visiting....:) Rheagan will be cooking filipino dish later...its going to be simple meal....Tomorrow will be visiting Granny as Ah Yi asked me to go over....Love you Mum !!

170207- Sprintttt.... Cleaning !
Mum, I am back in Singapore already....Happy New Year's Eve !!! Finally..kiss the singapore land...:0 I reached around 3am in the morning. I woke up pretty early this morning and did the final spring cleaning of the house...I took 6 hours to shift the hi fi from my room to the living hall. Re-arrange the sofa, sweep, mop, laundry..Now the house is clean, smell exceptionally nice too....Ah Yi called me last night, told her that I wont be going anywhere today. So the reunion dinner will be instant noodles for me..and me alone...Wish you were here.....Anyway, this coming 1st March is the second year that you left me..I have put a memorial up in the chinese papers. I miss you Mum...

100207 - Sa-Wa-Di-Kup ? Twinkle Twinkle Little Star..Is that you Mum?
Mum, I just arrived Thailand 1 hour ago. I am good and feeling great. So dun worry about me... It took 3 days to sail to Pattaya and finally finally we arrived ..haha...It was fun and I enjoyed the sunrise, sunset and I even saw dolphins !! When night falls and I looked at the skies, I saw so many stars and the sight is breath taking...No one will be able to relate this except those of my ex navy mates who sailed with me..its simply beautiful...the sea breeze, the horizon, the stars...its just fantastic... As I scanned the skies, my friend told me that there are 3 stars ( The Orion ) that will form a line pointing to the brightest star ( The Northen Star ) with 4 brightly lit stars forming a rectangle around it...I was thinking to myself if you are that brightest star watching over me...no matter which part of the ship that I go to, as long as I lift my head, I am able to see The Northen Star..I sat there for hours and as I recalled back, I din realised that I have left the service for 12 years already...thats really a blink of an eyelid ! Time flies...and time flies really fast once you hit 30....lol I will be logging off soon for my sight seeing and shopping. I will talk to you when I am back on the 16th Feb. I wont be able to make it on 14th Feb which is Valentine's Day but Here's an advance wish for you. I love you Mum !~ and Happy Valentine's Day....

020207- My Ang Mor Swiss Friend...
Gooooood Morning Beloved Mum !!!!!!! Its a Saturday !! These few weeks has been a crazy one for me...I have been extremely busy at work...rushing reports for my client SGX...its like started work at 9am....work work work....tabao lunch by colleague, work work work...coffee break.....then work work work again....then leave office around 9pm at times....its a whirlwind lifestyle....everything just happens so fast...clients changed their mind pretty fast about their demands....I wish my love life was that fast....:P anyway, let me introduce this "ang mo" friend of mine...remember I told you in my previous post with you that I know this ang mo guy from the chat room and he is a swim freak ? This is the guy ! Long pony tail...easy going....funny man...animals lover, green environment crusader !! haha..He is from Swiss....hmmm..I know him through the chat room for about 6 years now....every 2 years..he will be in Singapore and we will catch up....he travels around the asia region...I have been meeting him after work for dinner, coffee, chit chat at Vivo City...beautiful place and night scene..We see couples chit chatting there....We are a couple also....haha...but dont worry Mum..I am not a GAY....yet....lol.....

I will be going for my reservist to Thailand on 5th Feb....I wont be back till 16th Feb....just nice for CNY....actually I wanted to tell you something about Dad and his shares....If you were still around..I dont think he would ever dare to do what he did now..but anyway....Er Sao and his relatives knows what he did and is so angry with him....I just am too tired to go and get involved in his affairs..so about him and his life, I will just put a stop to it here..Dont want to talk too much about him...

Oh yes, did i tell you that my ex manager called me up to offer me a job in her company ? its ..Its a content management company...She knows that I like to get into training and have also done training before and called me to check if I am keen..I am kind of stuck because my good friend and colleague Rani was the one that introduce me back to HP. I din want to just leave like that...hmm...I will be meeting my ex manager today and talk more..So I will keep you updated okie....

310107- Friendship Renewed !
Hello Mum !! Muark ! ...its 0100am now......its the last day of January...I want to share with you something...I just came back from a dinner with a friend. Its a nice and cosy place at Punggol Park- Bliss Cafe... The table where we sat overlooked a huge pond..the breeze was nice and a bit chilling due to the weather...the story goes 3 years back.....with this lady...

Her name starts with N....her nick is butterfly....I noticed her 3 years back when we were associates with Belair....it was more of an business acquiantance rather than a friend...as we belong to the same group, we started to chat about the business and of course our plans to go to Philippines...we din really keep in touch except for sending her sms on her birthday...that went on for 3 years....until now...

When I came back from my holiday trip, I bought gifts for some of my close friends and I bought one for her too...I guess that was also the intention to ask her out for coffee or dinner after such a long time of not catching up....hmm..any emotional attachment to her ? well..yes initially and no...now and in the future as she is already happily married...

We met at 7pm and had a few red wines and a good salad....the conversation just started and we just talk and talk and talk...we had really a few good laughs when we touched on certain topics and trust me mum..that laughter was infectious...we turned around and see if anyone was wondering what happened to these two person...:) She is a pisces and I am a libra..I dunno why it felt just so comfortable talking to her...was it affection ? It was in the past but not now...in any case, we shared and talk about our lives, our stories, our work, our businesses...by the time we realised it, its 10pm....she told me that she will be my wedding planner ...haha..U bear witness to this okie....~ wink wink ~

Close friends are so hard to come by Mum....its friendship like this that keeps us going in this crazy world...I am so so glad that we catch each other up for drinks amidst our busy schedule....When I stood outside our home window just now..I wonder when was the last time I really laugh my heart out...I am visiting you soon Mum...Take care..love you always...

270107- You raised me up !
Gooooood Morning Mum !!!! its 0830am....I am already up and running...While I was lying in bed....I remembered the times when you had to drag me up from bed during school days..haha...it was kind of warm feeling when I think about it...You usually wakes up at 5am to boil water, to prepare breakfast for me before shoooing me downstairs to wait for my school bus....everyone was wondering where is the little boy's mum because at that time, I was just a little kid....You know I had to be independent enough to do things on my own...you trained me !!! :) I am already supporting a 5 room flat myself / cooking / laundry / house keeping /...its tough but I am managing.....I will be going for my weekly regular swim before meeting the relatives tonite to discuss our CNY gathering function...see ya...Love you Mum ! and Oh Yes....Today is Granny's Birthday !!!!!!!! Please bless her with good health and humour for many more years to come !!

230107- My Best Manager Kelly Yap !
Mum, I just bought lunch back...mee goreng ! :p been extremely busy with work....rushing for reports to be generated...Guess who I saw when I went to our canteen to buy food ? I met Kelly Yap....one of my ops manager when I was with Compaq...One of the nicest manager that I worked for during all my years of employment in different companies...I remembered when I first applied for Compaq supervisory position without any IT background, she recruited me based on my customer service experience in mobile one...I learned a lot from her as well as my best friend and colleague Rani.....people come and go in our life but its people like them that leaves footprint in my life...

220107- I love you Mum ! You left all the good memories for me !
Mum, last night I brought your memorial picture back to Punggol. Our home..This coming 1st March 07, will be the 2nd year that you left me. I brought your memorial back as we are selling our hougang place, the last date to vacate the place is beginning of Mar 07. I am still finding a good and cool place for your picture to be kept, probably in my wardrobe together with the special urn where I kept some fragments of your ash. I was helping Ah Yi pack some of the utensils in our hougang house when we realised that all these years, the china designed glasswares that Ah Yi gave you is still wrapped in newspaper. You kept most of them in perfect condition..You literally did not use it at all ! There were so many things in those boxes that I din knew it existed ! All the memories floods back and I cried looking at it...I still cannot bring myself to believe that you are gone....I found 2 pictures...I can literally feel you beside me looking at it...

I remembered the cabinet that we had ....it has been with us for 30 over years..this is where you kept all your stuffs....I din want to just throw away..I have a lot of memories with this cabinet..so I seek Sanny's help to move it to Punggol. Its just outside our home...A part of the memories that I grew up with and I would like to keep it with me still.....Love you Mum !

Your grandson Jordan... ..the one that you dotes so much...the one that calls me every friday to ask me if I had taken my dinner..the one that asked me yesterday why I am bringing your memorial picture back to Punggol...the one that always tells me he misses " Buo Buo " You will be proud of him....He is 5 yrs old now... I miss you Mum !


140107 - 8:16pm - She steals from you and us..I have hatred for her but I will forgive her!
Mum, I will never forget what happened today at Hougang. It was so saddening and so upsetting. I went back to see what are the things to bring back to Punggol and guess what I saw ? I found out that Ah Di has packed all our home stuffs in her luggage including all the bowls, a few of my samsonite bags, your favourite stuffs, hankerchiefs and so much more that it pains me to know that after so many years of working for us, she actually steal from us !!! When Ah Yi told me previously that she suspect that Ah Di is stealing from us, I din believe her cos I trust that Ah Di is not that kind of person. Today's event hurts me so much, Mum.....She cried during your wake, she promised you that she will take care of Granny till her last day, who would ever have thought that she steals from us, steals your things and ship it back to Indonesia !! Ah Yi told me that she has shipped 2 big boxes back to Indonesia already.

I strongly believed that some of your missing jewelleries, ang pows that Ah Yi gave you, she already shipped it back to Indonesia and to think that I treated her like one of our family member. To think that I helped her get a handphone, to think that I bought her birthday present for her and she did such a thing to our family !! You treated her well and yet she reciprocated by stealing your things after you passed away !!

I am so upset Mum ! She even dare to say in front of me when I was searching through her luggage that these are the things that you gave her !! I swear upon God that you would never give your favourite things away just like that....you treasure the things that people give to you and will never give it away !

She is such an disappointment ! We cant terminate her contract as we were afraid that Granny may not get used to a new maid, moreover she knows Granny's living habits and it would be tough to engage a new maid and retrain her again...

She will get her retribution one day Mum....I can be sure of that....I am sure God will punish her, all the more because she is a christian and faithfully going to Church every sunday but behind our back, she does such immoral things...

I am so so upset....

140107 - Our nest egg of investments..A bold decision taken...
Mum, I have something to share with you but I know that where ever you are, you already knew about it, its on my conscience all these while by not writing it. I have my reasons why and after 1.5 yrs, I would like to dictate it here.

3 years ago, one of my good friend Amanda and her hubby migrated to Canada to do property investment. I was given an opportunity to join them but I was undecided and eventually did not go. We kept in touch from time to time and the initial stage of settling down was tough for her but her family stuck through it. Time flies, 2 years down the road, they are now "landlord" of several properties in Canada. How they did it, I shall not detailed here but it was through hardwork and persistency. Amanda flew back to Singapore and came back with a business proposal for property investments in Canada, Toronto.

Together with our good friend CK, my banker friend from OCBC, we sat through a few rounds of presentation with her and saw the potential of the property rental market in Canada. We were presented with an opportunity to earn rental income from oversea market.

Though Amanda is our good friend, the sum of $ involved was quite substantial. We looked at the returns and told ourselves that we will never be able to get this kind of returns in Singapore even if we put it in fixed deposit.

I discussed with my banker friend CK and listened to his perspective on the business proposal and after many meetings, and skype discussion, together we invested. I took out the fixed deposit from the bank account and took my first plunge into the property rental market.

From then on, there was no turning back, Amanda secured 3 properties for us , 1 of which I co-invested with CK and since then, we have been receiving monthly rental income that far far exceeds the interest being given by the local banks. If there's were anyone in the world that I should trust, Amanda is one of them...

I am thankful for good trusted friends like them who is willing to share opportunities like this, at the same time, I would also like to confess that you would "never never" agree to make such an investment but when I looked at our property investment in Malacca that you did with Uncle Heng, I was upset that it was a bad investment, till todate, we havent even gotten a decent returns on investment.

Amanda presented an opportunity that I could not refuse.

1 year down the road, here is the monthly returns that Amanda is remitting to CK and me. Its capital protected and at the end of the contract, I can either redraw the full capital invested or continue with the investment on an revised rental returns.

Mum, the reason why for 1 yr, I did not blog this down is because I wanted to show you a full year returns of investment figure.

You have always advocate thrift through out your life and its a value that I will always hold close to my heart. The properties on hand are all our investments and we do not hold any ownership of them. This year, CK and I are looking at reinvesting our funds into a ownership of one property.

Please give me your blessings and guidance whenever you are.

130107- Your beautiful pictures..
Dearest Mum, its coming 2 years that you left me....last week when I went back to hougang to pack some of the things to be brought back to Punggol, there was a huge collections of old pictures of your wedding pictures and you in your younger days !! You looked so gorgeous and beautiful in your wedding gown .. Mum! I mean you looked even beautiful without wearing that gown :)

You even kept some of the old pictures of me..I was surprised to find those..thought I lost it for good..so you were the one that was keeping it....I am trying to scan all of it and keep it in an online storage...will let you know when its up....

040107- A different Xmas..
Mum, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year ! Time flies, another year has passed....coming March 07 will be the 2nd year that you have left me....I just came back from oversea yesterday....It was a very different Xmas that I spend...


What's my resolution for 2007 ? As usual, people will start to "recycle" their new year resolutions that they have written down the year before....I cant recall when was the last time that I did mine but this year is going to be different. I have resolve to implement small plans in my life to achieve my 2 yrs mega plan...and I seek your blessings and guidance...I will update you soon Mum ! Love you !

211206- Lee Hwee Hua Trust Fund
Mum, 23rd of Dec, I will be going away....wont be back till 3rd Jan 07. Quite recently, I met up with a irc friend that I knew long time back but din have a chance to meet, we were casually chatting about life, about business, about me, about her up and downfall...she gave me such a huge insight about life and it kept me thinking for a while....the question she asked....What have I done for you ? What am I going to do for you ? This never cross my mind before..It kept me thinking for a few days...She saw the article that I wrote about you and asked me Why dont I try to set up a "trust" fund under your name and try to help others in the future ? I dunno how a trust fund works and how much is required but it sure was a question that I will be thinking of it for a long time to come...and see if I am financially capable to fulfil it...hope to have yr blessings Mum...it would be great if eventually its called "Lee Hwee Hwa Trust Fund".

181206- Life is short and unpredictable
Dearest Mum, a lot of things has happened and thought I want to share with you...quite recently Kok Keng's dad passed away after a prolonged period of sickness due to cancer....2 days later....Peng Yong's mum passed away due to high blood pressure, circumstances also similiar like yours...its sad to see loved ones going one after another...You also know Peng Yong's mum also....during the wake, we were chatting casually and he mentioned that his mum way back has already planned for such things....she bought her tablet space in the temple already....that brings me to share with you that during the preparation for your wake, I have also bought one for dad and myself...my tablet space is just above yours and dad is just beside you...There will come a time when I will see you and be with you again....so meanwhile, you take care when you are there and look over my shoulders okie....Love you mum....

101206- Our Hougang House...
Mum, our last day at the Hougang House is 14th March 07. The deal has been finalised. I took some pictures of our hougang house, the place where I grew up and spend my childhood days...

061206- Work Work Work | Pay Pay Pay
Mum, been a long time since we last spoken. We finally found a buyer for our house. Its kind of sad though because I spend my childhood and growing up years in Hougang. Ah Yi is finalizing the details with the buyer.

Once the house is sold then we are going to look for a rented place near Tina's place and see if we can get it for one year lease before deciding what to do, maybe buy a house so that Granny can have a proper place to stay and Ah Di can also take care of her.

Do you know that Tina's pregnant ? She is going to deliver in March next year, wish you were around... I am sure you will be very happy for her. Cousin Tina has always been close to you since her younger days. I am looking forward to see the new born :) Ah Yi is very stress over Tina's pregnancy / sale of the house / Ah Di's renewal of contract / and Granny's future house...as usual..typical of Ah Yi...:)

I have been to the doctor recently Mum...I did not tell you that I have been experiencing back pain and numbness of the arm and body...It kind of started 2 years back. I thought its just some normal back pain. I went for acupuncture and massage but it just din help. I even bought a $200 plus medic pillow to support my neck !! I finally had to be referred to TTSH by the GP when I reported sick for finger numbness.

An Xray was taken and they found out that my neckbone and spine has some degree of curvature and is causing the numbness and pain. Occupational Hazard !! The specialist told me that they seen a lot of people reporting such problems to them and most of them are in the IT line..Gosh !!! Tomorrow I had to go for physiotherapy...and one session cost $70 bucks !!! Just for a 1 hr consulation, it cost me $250...no wonder people say doctor kills yr ills by pills and later kills you with his bills !!! Sigh...work work work..then pay pay pay :)

You are having a good time there Mum...so please take care and look after us and Granny okie...


Love you Dearly !!!

061106- A Simple Life !
Did you notice today's date Mum ? Its 06 11 06 ..nice isnt it ? Maybe I should buy lottery. I remembered the first 7 days after you passed on, everyone was trying their luck. The only number that came out was 6636. You are 66 years old and I am 36. No one strike. It din occur to me also...You never like to gamble..:)..thats why you also din let me strike..I went Granny's place yesterday..bought her fish burger from Mac. As usual, she will wave her hand telling us that she is full but she will keep on eating :) Life has been quite routine for me..Every friday after work, I will do my laundry, iron and prepare my working clothes for Monday. Saturday, I will sleep a bit late till 9am then do some house cleaning before going to Novena church, thereafter I will go for a weekly swim with Sanny unless he is not free. Now I can swim 30 laps continuously...an achievement isn it ? hehe..I will run my own errands in the evening..like window shopping in Orchard, ogle at my favourite Apple products, crowd watching before going home and spend the rest of the evening lying in my bed with my Macbook surfing the net. There goes my Saturday...Sunday morning, I will wake up for my daily dosage of CNN - Constant Negative Newspapers and coffee before doing my kitchen cleaning and mopping before heading to Granny's place. I will spend the day there with Aunt, having fun with Jordan and Aidan, putting and carrying Granny up and down the bed, playing cards with her..before Ah Di comes back from church to take over me and I head back home..

I love the life I am enjoying now...simple...and carefree...I want you to know that I am well and fine...Life only gets complicated when we want them to...if not, life can be savoured in a simple way...

Simplicity is Joy !

Love You Mum !

Rani, My Hp Colleague and Good friend " Found the article from today online...Hi Mel, Your story brought a lot of lessons to many people. thanks Pal. Even my son feels it. This are thing we go thru...Hang in there friend...I'm here always for you ok. Take care, You're not alone...If you need a place...Can stay here too ok...






Josephine Wong, My Hp Colleague, "Just dropping a mail to let you know that I am touched by your article that published yesterday TODAY. My heart goes to you with missing someone so dearly, One day, you will see her in your dream living happily"

Cousin Tina Tan wrote " Dont think too much, Treasure more of the living"

Cousin Ling wrote " Hi Brother, how r u? I saw your letter on Today's papers. I'm touched. Hope u r better after you share yr heart. .....Do know that I am always there for you anytime you want to talk or share. u r not alone. "

Johnson " Hi Melvin, How are you? Did you write an article into Today? I'm touched by your mom's life story. Hope you're doing well now. Johnson AIA.

Gary Fu, My Course mate wrote " Melvin, Your tribute to your mum is very touching and it strikes a chord with me as my mum also passed away from a stroke when I was 16. Indirectly I also had to make the same decision as you being the eldest in the family and my father not speaking much english. There was a lump in my throat when I read your article as I could relate to what you were going through as I went through the same emotions"

Irene Kee, My Hp Colleague wrote " Melvin, I m so touched after reading your story. Brother, u r so brave and strong. I salute you"

Below is one of the reader who wrote in to me.

From: krobert@pacific.net.sg
[mailto:krobert@pacific.net.sg]
Sent: Tuesday, October 31, 2006 8:01 AM
To: NEWS
Subject: Article by Melvin Tan Kok Liang

Dear Editor,

I was so touched by Melvin's article that I cried after reading it. Melvin's love for her mother showed through his writing. It makes me think of my own mother, and the sacrifices she made for me thoughout my young life till I reached adulthood. Even then, even when I am financially independent to give her a monthly allowance, she continues to show her love, in her own way.

Melvin said, when her mother fainted at home, that he had not done his part as a son. The mother is healthy and strong at 73, but I have also not done my part to check on her health. I have taken her good health for granted. I resolve that I will make sure my mother gets her health checked regularly. Thank you Melvin for this timely reminder.

I have a father aged 78, and he's showing signs of his years - weak knee joints and constipation. Again, thanks to Melvin, I resolve to spend more time with him and my mother, and to look after them better, and not to take them for granted, and not to leave it till it's too late. After all, they have given me their love for as long as I have lived.

Thank you Melvin.

Please pass this message to Melvin.

Thank you for publishing this article.

Regards
Robert Koh

021106- Encouragement from Friends !
Mum, eversince the article that I wrote in to Today, there was an overwhelming response to it. The editor of Today forwarded some of the emails that was send in. I have also received encouragement calls / sms from colleagues, friends that recognises you. They can feel the emotional attachment to it and how you lived your life..I had never intended to glorify you through this article. I only meant it to be a tribute to you on your birthday....The people who read your story are very touched and the message was timely...I attached some of the sms and emails that they send..You are an inspiration Mum....

Some of the sms's and emails received are from cousins and friends.

011106- Jordan Ang ! Notti Fella

Mum, do you remember I often told you that I would like to stay single and you will always give me that " See who's going to take care of you when you grow older look " You were worried that I may eventually stay true to what I said and stay single all my life and so... decided to adopt our neighbour's baby which is this little boy.....as my godson....but you were worried that I may not like him thus adopted boy's mum as your adopted daughter instead.......So I unofficially had a "sister" to take care of me ...and a "nephew" instead of a godson..but I still would have preferred to have him as my "Godson".The baby "Jordan" which you took care when he was very very young and dotes him like anything has grown up to be a very handsome boy. He calls me "Uncle" or "Jiu Jiu" and is very close to me. From time to time, he will call me if i had taken my dinner, if I am visiting him at Granny's place, if i have visited you. He misses you too. Whenever I asked him if he remembers "por por" he says yes and often ask about your "new house" which is where we kept your "URN". I took a lot of pictures with him. The only regret I have is that I did not have a lot of pictures taken with you and him. He will grow up to be a very smart boy...During Ching Ming Festival, when we visited you, he cried for you....He is such a filial boy...

311006- I pulled the plug on my mother...
Mum, remember I told you that I submitted an article to remember you by ? It's published today. I hope this is a timely birthday present for you. All these years of taking care of me, I would like to say I love you very much and misses you a lot... I never said this before to you when you were alive and I hope that its never too late to say that now....












On 30/10/06, Yvonne Lim ( MediaCorp Press ) wrote:


IN MEMORIUM: LEE HWEE HUA, 66, Mother

Melvin Tan Kok Liang

Oct 20, 2006. Today is my birthday and on Oct 26, it will be yours, Mother. I dedicate this tribute to you.

IT HAS been a year and seven months since you passed away and I am still mourning you. I was your only child, and you lavished your love on me and devoted yourself to bringing up a good son. We were not rich, but I was not deprived. You made sure I had the best, not just in material terms but in maternal love.

I remember in my primary school days, we illegally converted our one-room flat in Toa Payoh into a makeshift hairdressing salon. Business was brisk, but eventually our house was raided by the authorities. During those tough times, I tagged along as we went door to door to promote your services in the estate.

You took such good care of all your customers, young and old, throughout the years, that even when we shifted to our three-room flat in Hougang, you were popularly known as Ah Hua, that dian mo jie (hairdresser) in Hougang Blk 23. Your Toa Payoh customers continued visiting you there.

Everyone in the neighbourhood knew how thrifty you were – how you would walk to and from the wet market, to save on bus fare. You saved up every cent and single-handedly managed the household budget. I never had to go hungry, never had to worry about my school fees or having a roof over my head.

As I grew older, I realised the things you did for our family, the values you lived by. On top of taking care of the family, you also took it on yourself to look after both my grandmothers through their golden years. Though we never actually sat down and talked about such things, I learnt about integrity and honesty from the way you lived.

“Live within your means” was your motto and you did just that. You never travelled (once, I followed some relatives to Genting, but you didn’t follow as you thought two air tickets was too expensive). You never got into debt. You believed a simple life was a virtue unto itself.

You never skimped when it came to food for the family, yet you skimped on your own material needs. The many bags that I bought you were carefully wrapped in layers and layers of newspapers... never used.

For 46 years, you slogged for the family, and when my hair salon business and overseas ventures did not do too well, you were the one who bailed me out without ever asking questions.

You encouraged me to try again, to never give up my dreams, but also to never forget those who helped me. I was 30 then. Whenever we went to the temple, you would leave coins for the needy. Your lesson to me was to donate whatever I could, and not only when I am called upon to do so. Indeed, the way you helped others through small gestures, all the time, endeared you to many neighbours and friends.

As the years passed, you were diagnosed with high blood pressure. But you did not want me to worry – you would often brush aside your dizziness as a minor headache. The day you fainted at home and was rushed to hospital, I knew it too late -- that I had not done my part as a son, to diligently check on your health. I had taken it for granted that you would take care of yourself.

My heart sank when the doctor asked us to prepare for the worst, as you had gone into a deep coma due to a burst blood vessel. As the only child, the decision to pull you off the life-support system fell to me. I had been showered with all your love – how could I possibly make that decision?

I hesitated for a long, long time. The doctor told us we were prolonging your suffering, and that the chances of your recovering were very slim. After much emotional struggle, we asked the doctor to reassure us that they had done everything they could for you.

Then we let you go.

As I stood by my cousin, the nurse unplugged the life support system. Your heartbeat slowed gradually. I cried for the longest time and held your body. I begged, I cried, I tugged at you, hoping you would miraculously show some movement.

You left us on March 31, 2005, at 2.17pm.

A year and a half have passed. It has never felt like you have truly left me. As I move on without you, I will always remember how you left me the best thing you could – your name, and everything good thing that it stood for. Ah Hua, that Hougang blk 23 “dian mo jie”.

Dear Mum, I love you and miss you.

271006 - I will take care of Granny..
Mum, when you were in ICU, I promised you that I will take good care of Granny should you leave us. Granny is well and fine, though she fell down once, she has since recovered and is in the pink of health. She does not know that you left already. I visited her every weekend and spend time playing cards with her. Its her favourite game :) Now, she thinks Ah Yi is my mum...everyone loves her..so dont worry about her. Just like how you have taken care of Ah Ma till her golden years..I will take care of Granny till her golden years....

261006- Happy Birthday Mum! Happy Birthday Mum !!! Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to You, Happy Birthday to Mummy, Happy Birthday to You.....Its your BIG day....Hope you are having loads of fun up there..I took leave and spend some time to catch up with my sleep and fix my notebook before..err....taking a cab to the temple to visit you. I knew you will say...aiya..why take cab again..waste money....:X...I will try not to do it again...Did you see the flowers that I bought for you ? I got it at Bishan. The lady wasnt too friendly though..Hmp !! She did not even asked me who the flowers are for...I was looking for carnations but they do not have it ...So I bought what's there..A small bouquet of rose...I din know that last year Mother's Day, I also bought rose !!!

Hope you had the joyous time of your life on this special day...

On your special day, I have something to confess..Though I do not know if its against the Chinese Tradition to do that but I did it anyway. I just couldn't let you go. I guess Auntie and Dad and the rest of the relatives din know about it.

11/2 years back after the cremation while we are picking up your bones to be placed in the urn,I secretly took some memories of you and kept it in a red packet and transferred it to a special "URN" together with some of your favourite belongings and put it inside our Punggol House. Its inside the cabinet drawer.

It has your favourite white pendant that I bought for you years back, the colour pearls + the crystal bracelet that Cousin Tina did for you. You wore it everyday until the day you were admitted to hospital.

Remember I told you that I saw an article that was written by a guy to remember his mum who passed on? After reading his article, I wrote about you, your life, my childhood and how you raised me..I never expected it to be accepted though..Just thought that I would write something for you on my birthday...

Surprise Surprise, the editor Ms Yvonne from Today's emailed me asking me some details about you. It was so unexpected...as I din think the article would be selected. I hope its the best birthday present for you Mum..

She told me it would be either published on 30th or 31st Oct 06. I am keenly looking forward to it. I will let you see when I get a copy.

221006- My Birthday and Your Birthday
Mum....I turned 37 years old 2 days ago and in another 4 days...its your birthday...I did not exactly celebrate and I din felt that it was a day to celebrate though...As usual, I went to work. Got lots of sms from friends who wish me this special day....Most of them who sms me are friends that did not contact me for a while but that gesture brings a smile on my face...The most surprise call was Francesco. A swiss guy that I knew from the chat room years back. He came to Singapore every other 2 years and we have been keeping in touch.

I am getting along fine Mum and I wish you are too...I felt much better after talking to Josephine. A close friend from the US. She is coming back to SG next year Jan and we will be catching up with each other again.

Its been a sad 2 yrs for me after you left but I am moving along....and you wont want to see me mourning you for the rest of my life...I am sure you want me to move along too...

....I love you Mum....I love you so much....

The other day I saw an article that was written to Today's. It was written by a guy who wants to remember his Mum. It was on my birthday date that I spotted that article. I send my thoughts in too...to remember you by...I hope it gets published...

You left the very BEST for me MUM ! You left your GOOD NAME and LEGACY for me... I

You were the best Mum ! Just like the rest of the Mum's in this world...Love...

See ya on the 26.10.06

On 26/09/06, Melvin Tan wrote:
hi mum, thank you thank you thank you....u know i never felt this good "talking" about how i feel...whenever friends asked me..how's life...i just said i am very tired and the words kind of stop there...i guess its easier to just write it out than to talk abt it...that was sure a long first step taken after 1.5 yrs...and i would like to thank you for it...God often place angels around us to guide us along..i have been searching for that someone to just listen to me...you were just there...i was searching far and wide...but that angel was just beside me...you are far yet close....

its sad that while we advances in our career, we are losing our basic human touch...friends who are beside and around you noticed and gave just a pat on the shoulders...friends who are far away from you took time to reply with long and comforting emails....you are one of them mum....and i deeply appreciate that...for so long...i only talked to my mum..i dunno who else i can talk to...but now i know that i have a friend in you ...its time to let go and i thank you for that...its a personal blog between me and her and i know she would be glad that i have a friend like you....the day that i shared this blog with u is the day that i truly find happiness.....

I guess our surrounding friends are too pre-occupied with their career and I also do not want to add on something that they would not have been able to help except but to listen...thats why I have been withholding talking about it becos i was afraid of what people might say or what friends might say about what i am going through...but when i realised what my friends did say after sharing with them..it moved me to tears..this is what they said and he is just an acquiantance from Philippines..

"I never saw a wild thing feel sorry for itself, a bird will fall frozen dead from a bow, without ever having felt sorry for itself" It is true, in nature if an animal becomes injured it just keeps moving-on. A dog loses a leg, but it lives fine with only 3 legs. In the above case winter snow comes and the bird patiently sits in the bow of a tree, finally it freezes and dies falling to the forest floor. But that bird never complained like we humans have a propernsity to do, it just seized each moment of life to make the most of it. Most of the time it chirped a happy existence as it glided from tree to tree.

i am feeling much much better now...and looking forward to implementing my plan in dec...i will keep you updated whenever i can...

love and take care

On 26/09/06, Aaron and Josephine wrote:
mel, u already took your 1st step. u r talking about it, that's a start. u have been a good friend to many of us, u r gentle, u listen, and u have a big, kind heart always willing to help. so for now, while u r searching for answers, let your friends be there for u. i m listening. i m sorry i was/am not there physically to lend u emotional support, but i want u to know i m here to listen.

for starter, your mom raised a wonderful being, you. u turned out well, that was her accomplishment. make peace with yourself, your mum would not want to see u hurt like this. she is in a better place now, no pain, surrounded by those who left us, whom she loved, and, she is with god (whatever your religion is), who is taking care of her.

if we look at our past, we often regret things we did not do so well. i had came to a point in life myself, years ago, why regret, we cannot fix our past, use our past mistakes as experience, dont regret, just dont do it again. that's how we live and learn. look forward to events we can affect in the future. if volunteering is what u think u can do to help future, go for it. it may be your niche. u would never know if u dont try. i am always looking for new things to learn, otherwise, i wouldnt know if i like them.

i m not sure how u & your dad's relationship is now. but do u want to wait for him to be gone & regret not mending your relationship? i learned this when i lost my paternal grandmother yrs ago. so now, i try to be as nice as posible to the ones i love, because i don't want to live to regret.

if u feel that u need to seek some professional help along the way, there is nothing wrong with that. professionals are trained to help us sort through ourselves when sometimes friends and family cannot help. and dont worry too much abt others now, we can never please everyone. u mentioned in past email abt not so nice friends & family who wnts to get close now becoz of money. the money is not theirs, let them get their own. we dont hve to care what pple like these think. they r not there for u, they r there for themselves. i recently cut off a friedship here after i i realized i was told lies after lies. this person was supposedly sick, she may be, but after she told lies after lies to get my sympathy, i was emotionally drained. she is not a friend who is there for me but wants everyone else to be there for her. i looked thru the facade, i felt bad at first, but i came to terms with myself, i didnt do this to her, she brought it upon herself. she didnt lose a friend becoz i am mean or bad, but she is not truthful. she has issues she needs to deal with, unfortunately, i m not her solution.

i m glad we r having this "conversation" mel. and i hope this helps. true friends r suppose to b there for each other, no matter what. i m a believer that although we may not get to say hi or see each other often, true friends can always pick up where they left off. i hope i can help u through this tough time in your life. i m sorry u r going through this, but i hope we can both come out of this more in tune with our inner selves. u have a friend in me, do not hesitate to talk it out. i may not get to response asap but i want to help.

love,
mum

Melvin Tan wrote:
Mum, I was overwhelmed when I read your email to me. I not only want to thank you for writing back but also for the deep message that it bring across to me. I dunno at this point in time, do I consider myself as mid life crisis jumping from job to job hoping to find a better job... Lost and helpless is an understatement. I just do not know what I want in life. So feeling hopeless and helpless drives me to keep on searching for the perfect answer to my problems....I guess I was pretty much sheltered and did not go through turbulent times to get into school..meals and comfort are provided for since young...never had to worry about money, about shouldering responsibilities..worrying about bills, mortgages, debts..etc..etc... I guess my mum's death gave me an awakening..

I am on my own now....I have been mourning for 1.5 yrs now and I could not get myself out of it..It was too much to bear and I just took every excuse to leave whenever I was given an responsibility to shoulder I dunno if there is a term of what i am going through but i know that i am very unhappy with myself...Am I stressed ? Am I suffering from any so called " emotional instability " I am not sure..All I know is that I needed to leave...from who to where and what...I seriously have no idea... I try to be fair to myself that life goes on....I am counting the blessings of what I have and not what I do not have..But when I looked back 2.5 yrs later..I wonder what I do not have...Besides not having my mum with me...I do not have peace with myself...I do not have serenity...I could not reconcile with myself... I held myself very solely responsible for letting her go...though I wish I was not the one that had to make the decision...It was painful, it was cruel but it was necessary...but I could not accept that...1.5 yrs on......

I do not know how to vent out my frustration...my helplessness....its just getting into me....when I looked back at what my mum has saved and skimp over the how many years..I wonder how she pulled it off....Just a call from the lord and she's gone....Came with nothing , Left with nothing...I wonder why we worked so hard all our lives for ? the purpose ? I have never been a church goer...even though Novena church was just beside Tan Tock Seng, I never did went in and pray for a miracle when she was struggling in ICU...Ironically, now I am going to the same church asking for life's reasons, why's and if's...along with problems that came thereafter...i have had enough...I must admit that i could not handle it...I cant face it...thats why I have decided to do something I have never done before..volunteer work..

lizbillvolunteer inspires me a lot and I am in the midst of planning..i dunno how it will turn out eventually but that's my plan....a lot of times, i am very sick of working and losing interest in whatever i do...i hope this gives me an angle to look at life besides work..

love,

On 21/09/06, Aaron and Josephine wrote:
mel, sorry to hear that u r unhappy. we can get that way sometimes in life, at a cross rd, lost, losing focus. honestly, we r too blessed to b stressed. human nature is greedy, we alwaysMore... want more in life, some material, some spiritual. i cnnt say i can give u life lessons honestly. granted i was not borned with a silver spoon, i did not suffer much of the hardship others do either. i have learned over the years to try to be contented with what i have, otherwise, i will forever b unhappy becoz other seems to have it better. me living away from my family taught me to appreciate them more. friends & career can come and go, we r borned with the family we r given, we don't choose, so i try to love them the way i know best n how and learn to forgive n forget. a supporting life partner like aaron helps.

we have our differences but he had made me more patient n down to earth. i think our differences help fill each other's voids. i sometimes think abt the things i could have achieved if i m not tied down, but i m blessed that he is an understanding n supportive husband that those other things i wanted don't matter as much now. life is not abt work only, but i personally need the basic income my job brings, to achieve the basic things i have. as i get older, i m more eager to learn abt things. i embrace opportunity to expose myself to things that i never had a chance to learn, be it more abt a subject, a sport or just abt anything, that way, i can find things that i may not know that i m interested in.

this volunteer thing seems interesting, if u feel like u need to explore & see if tht is what u want to do, go ahead. if u never try, u never know if it is your niche. there r always less fortunate pple who could use a lift, from someone like u. s'poreans r very blessed pple. we hve a stable govt, we r exposed to diff cultures becoz we r multiracial, yet w/a traditional value of family support. we advanced so quickly since WWII n many of us had became very materialistic, sometimes losing focus in our spiritual self that many of us can be empty. on the other hand, our need for material thngs pushed us to work hard & our multi-lingual capability made us all adaptable, sometimes, we can also be arrogant becoz of that too, that's what i have learned over the years.anyhow, hope what i shared helps.

u r a wonderful person. i have know u for several yrs now, u r one of the nicest, motivated and caring person i hve ever met. i believe u can achieve whatever u set your heart to. don't b so hard on yourself, we r a very small creature in the face of ths very big earth. we cnnt just wave a magic wand & hope all will be better, but we can do whatever small little part to make this world a better place. our caring may touch one person, who may in turn, touch another person's life & so on. so, just do the best u can, life goes on, right? u take care, don't dwell on the things u have not achieve but what u have done so far to lend others a little helping hand. i wish u the best, whatever u choose in you life, i m sure u made that decision carefully.

love,mum

080806-Mum,I went to visit you. Do you know? Its about 7pm when I reached. There were lots of people there. Looking at your urn and your picture, I still cannot believe that you are... gone...As much as possible, I kept telling myself that you are gone and I must move on but the thoughts of you being with me, waking me up, preparing dinner for me..etc..etc..they are still fresh in my mind...I cant control my emotions whenever I think of you...Time will help me come to grasp about your demise...I must learn how to let go..but I just want to tell you that you are one of the greatest mum in this whole wide world..and I love you very very much...The only regret I have is not being able to really really listen to you when you are around and really take care of you and do little little things with you like going marketing, going places to eat, having morning tea with you..I guess I cant do that anymore with you...but I will take care of myself for you...You take care out there..and loving you always...

010806- Mum, how are you? Been a long time since I last spoken to you. I have been working late every night. I dunno if its to numb myself or its just an excuse to stay late in the office and then just go home and sleep..Remember I told you about me, Uncle and Aunt having a meeting with Dad ? It was a big quarrel and Uncle blasted him off for bringing up the topic about me and Ah Di having an affair again.

He is just incorrigible...We finally decided to sell the Hougang house if there is a buyer and he has to shift back to Punggol and stay. I told him that he has to learn everything himself and dont expect the tenant to boil water for him, wash his clothes..etc..etc..I told him that I will shift out when he shifts in. I just cant imagine myself living with him. Last saturday, I brought him to see doctor and right on sunday, the bag of medicine just gone missing, we havent even give it to Ah Di yet !! I suspect he threw away the medicine and want to find an excuse to accuse Ah Di that she threw away his medicine..Can you imagine what kind of person he is !!! Aunt was so mad at him !!!

You know what Mum ? You took too good care of Dad all these years...He doesnt know how to cook instant noodles, boil water, wash and iron his clothes, he practically doesnt know anything except maybe to just open his mouth and eat...

180706-Mum..I have booked the prayer session for you. In English calender, its 8th Aug. One day before National Day. I hope you like the offerings..If there's something else you need, doMore... let me know and I will get it prepared for you. Just letting you know that this sunday, Uncle has arranged to meet all the Tan's family relatives to thrash out Dad's problem and the selling of the Hougang house. He is really a thorn and I really can't stand him...I am tired Mum...really tired...on the physical side, I appear strong but deep down, I really dunno how to handle him...

060706-Mum..did you realised that I seldom talk about Dad anymore? Though he is still a pain in the neck to Aunt, me and many others..we chose to ignore him now. I know you are living a happy life where you are now. Let the mortals worry about mundane worldly things, especially when I am the son.

I have been feeling very down Mum....I tried to live life to the fullest, to live happily, but somehow I kept asking myself why am I still here ? Is it because that you left and I still cant let go of the fact that you are not with me ? that you are already gone for good..

As much as possible, I tried to banish the thoughts of following you by keeping myself very occupied with whatever I am doing to brush my mind off such thoughts..but it still comes back to me from time to time...

I needed someone to confide in..Mum...I really dont know how to cope and manage...

040706-Mum, been quite sometime since I last spoke to you. How have you been? Is the weather cold there? Better wear your favourite sweater..its at the old house...we kept it there...you will know where its kept.....

Very fast...next year..according to Chinese Calender, its the third year that you passed on....I can bring your memorial picture back to our Punggol house already...I kept your ash and wallet in the drawer under lock and key...You have often like staying in our new Punggol flat and I hope you will continue to be my side where ever you are..I kept the place spick and span every weekend...you will notice that there isnt a speck of dust...i make it a point to clean it every sunday..I know you like cleanliness...I even created a blog for it at Currently I rented out the place to some filipinos who are here looking for a job. These are some nice videos taken of them...

I kept the master room for Dad in the event that he wants to come back in Punggol and stay. I sleep in the hall..

This coming saturday 8th July, I will be booking a prayer slot for you. I will come and visit you...misses you mum....I misses you so much....